Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SouthernPride95

Online | Search for a member

SouthernPride95

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2738
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About SouthernPride95 : I drive a big ole truck i l'm just a bible thumpin redneck if you don't like it tough i like to wave the rebel flag around and i like to fish i also like to watch Dale Jr race every sunday in NASCAR i also dip good ole Copenhagen the best dip in the world

SouthernPride95's page activity

Visits<b>AHzulu</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 4:27am<b>_liam_72_</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 7:45pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 6:42pm<b>mind_geek</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 10:35am<b>MattZug</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 3:04pm<b>melpower</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:54am<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:10pm<b>josexy</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 7:57am<b>Whishywash</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 4:12pm<b>Spetz14</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 6:50am<b>vettvixen</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:11am<b>graceface1031</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:34pm<b>PoisonOrchid</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:07am<b>ksktwin84</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 4:30am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 3:05am<b>IamFrench</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:06am<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:42am<b>stargazer091</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:11pm

SouthernPride95's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of SouthernPride95's badges

SouthernPride95's favorite FMLs

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

#19641324
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21292) - you deserved it (5800)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States

Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on it all day. When I got up, my pants were damp. FML

#19640975
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22817) - you deserved it (2314)

On 05/18/2012 at 7:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

#19640630
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7155) - you deserved it (51706)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -

Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML

#19597798
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20598) - you deserved it (1921)

On 05/09/2012 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

#19540366
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28367) - you deserved it (3194)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by poo4brains - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML

#19277377
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13641) - you deserved it (28328)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25462) - you deserved it (2685)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were doll heads and cigarette butts. FML

#18903953
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27716) - you deserved it (2153)

On 01/24/2012 at 11:51pm - misc - by JellitonOctopus - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31868) - you deserved it (4986)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

#18772275
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13600) - you deserved it (32072)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14821) - you deserved it (37303)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I heard someone calling my name. It was my neighbor. Turns out they named their dogs after my mother, my sister and me. FML

#18560105
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28539) - you deserved it (3051)

On 12/20/2011 at 6:49am - misc - by IHopeYourDogsGetDiarrheaAndPoopOnYourBed (woman) - Mauritius

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22763) - you deserved it (7207)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13016) - you deserved it (41307)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: