Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SouthernPride95

Search for a member

SouthernPride95
  • Town/Country : Knoxville, Tennessee
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1460
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About SouthernPride95 : I drive a big ole truck i like to play the tuba im in marching band i like to wave the rebel flag around and i like to fish i also like to watch Dale Jr race every sunday in NASCAR i also dip good ole Copenhagen the best dip in the world

SouthernPride95's last visitors

king_of_LAdante_53Schizomaniacthebloodlegiondstark26kaetgreyy_gooooseBatgirl124thebestintheworl

SouthernPride95's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SouthernPride95's badges

SouthernPride95's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my first day at school in the United States. Being from France, my French accent is really strong. After being made fun of all day, I met someone from Montreal. I was so excited and said, "Parlez-vous Français?" And his response? "HUH?!" FML

#17754164
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25233) - you deserved it (5306)

On 09/15/2011 at 9:42pm - misc - by Frenchgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that getting caught in a barbed wire fence isn't as bad as it sounds. Running through a forest at night, tripping over one, rolling down an embankment, and getting swiped by a car, however, is. FML

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46563) - you deserved it (2413)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

#17334283
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11202) - you deserved it (64187)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

#17292941
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26792) - you deserved it (4847)

On 07/29/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after returning home from a camping trip, I found a leech on my love spuds. I ended up having to call my dad in to help me get it off. FML

#17221687
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26575) - you deserved it (4071)

On 07/22/2011 at 8:57pm - intimacy - by jab43 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML

#17176803
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7493) - you deserved it (50714)

On 07/19/2011 at 12:41pm - misc - by freakfreak12345 - United States (Maine)

Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash." FML

#17100769
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20788) - you deserved it (1983)

On 07/13/2011 at 11:15pm - health - by stephiew - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was having a nice dream in which a beautiful butterfly flew by me and got stuck in my hair, fluttering its wings against my neck. Then I woke up and realized the "butterfly" stuck in my hair was actually a giant wood roach. FML

#16632330
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37058) - you deserved it (2636)

On 06/12/2011 at 7:33pm - animals - by Jenievonteese (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having a nice dream in which a beautiful butterfly flew by me and got stuck in my hair, fluttering its wings against my neck. Then I woke up and realized the "butterfly" stuck in my hair was actually a giant wood roach. FML

#16632330
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37058) - you deserved it (2636)

On 06/12/2011 at 7:33pm - animals - by Jenievonteese (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35148) - you deserved it (15379)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, a girl I've been crushing on for over a year finally gave me her number. I lost the note at home, but found it a few hours later. I excitedly called, only to find she'd written down the number for the local Pizza Hut. FML

#16376796
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28584) - you deserved it (3033)

On 05/27/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML

#15960632
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31076) - you deserved it (3418)

On 04/28/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by spartanson -

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

#15912544
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28054) - you deserved it (3229)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm - animals - by electricpuddle -

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML

#15805096
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36548) - you deserved it (10347) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/16/2011 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Proprepourtant - France



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: