About SouthernPride95 : I drive a big ole truck i like to play the tuba im in marching band i like to wave the rebel flag around and i like to fish i also like to watch Dale Jr race every sunday in NASCAR
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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I put my cat in the tub for a bath, as he rolled around in some mud. The second I put my hand on the faucet to turn the water on, he screamed, rather loudly. I yelled in shock, which must have scared him further, as he vigorously attacked my face and pissed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16239) - you deserved it (10040)
On 09/07/2011 at 12:47pm - animals - by GEFStryker - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that getting caught in a barbed wire fence isn't as bad as it sounds. Running through a forest at night, tripping over one, rolling down an embankment, and getting swiped by a car, however, is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20639) - you deserved it (6092)
On 09/01/2011 at 5:58pm - misc - by Why_Not31 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45772) - you deserved it (2382)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)
Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9513) - you deserved it (49782)
On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26066) - you deserved it (4775)
On 07/29/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, after returning home from a camping trip, I found a leech on my love spuds. I ended up having to call my dad in to help me get it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24247) - you deserved it (3218)
On 07/22/2011 at 8:57pm - intimacy - by jab43 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7373) - you deserved it (49803)
On 07/19/2011 at 12:41pm - misc - by freakfreak12345 - United States (Maine)
Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17910) - you deserved it (1768)
On 07/13/2011 at 11:15pm - health - by stephiew - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was having a nice dream in which a beautiful butterfly flew by me and got stuck in my hair, fluttering its wings against my neck. Then I woke up and realized the "butterfly" stuck in my hair was actually a giant wood roach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33778) - you deserved it (2427)
On 06/12/2011 at 7:33pm - animals - by Jenievonteese (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was having a nice dream in which a beautiful butterfly flew by me and got stuck in my hair, fluttering its wings against my neck. Then I woke up and realized the "butterfly" stuck in my hair was actually a giant wood roach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33778) - you deserved it (2427)
On 06/12/2011 at 7:33pm - animals - by Jenievonteese (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I shat out a staple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31533) - you deserved it (11573)
On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, a girl I've been crushing on for over a year finally gave me her number. I lost the note at home, but found it a few hours later. I excitedly called, only to find she'd written down the number for the local Pizza Hut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28045) - you deserved it (2989)
On 05/27/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29068) - you deserved it (2841)
On 04/28/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by spartanson -
Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27133) - you deserved it (3177)
On 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm - animals - by electricpuddle -
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (34357) - you deserved it (8680) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/16/2011 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Proprepourtant - France
Monday 20 May 2013
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