Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SouthernPride95

Search for a member

SouthernPride95
  • Town/Country : Knoxville, Tennessee
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1472
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About SouthernPride95 : I drive a big ole truck i like to play the tuba im in marching band i like to wave the rebel flag around and i like to fish i also like to watch Dale Jr race every sunday in NASCAR i also dip good ole Copenhagen the best dip in the world

SouthernPride95's last visitors

king_of_LAdante_53Schizomaniacthebloodlegiondstark26kaetgreyy_gooooseBatgirl124thebestintheworl

SouthernPride95's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SouthernPride95's badges

SouthernPride95's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27264) - you deserved it (4507)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

#18772275
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11664) - you deserved it (29003)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13364) - you deserved it (34593)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I heard someone calling my name. It was my neighbor. Turns out they named their dogs after my mother, my sister and me. FML

#18560105
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27408) - you deserved it (2941)

On 12/20/2011 at 6:49am - misc - by IHopeYourDogsGetDiarrheaAndPoopOnYourBed (woman) - Mauritius

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21599) - you deserved it (7051)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11914) - you deserved it (39016)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11914) - you deserved it (39016)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37671) - you deserved it (2853)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, my entire family came over for thanksgiving. It went pretty well, only four family members got in a fist fight and only one cop car was called. FML

#18341850
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23113) - you deserved it (1814)

On 11/24/2011 at 9:49pm - misc - by guy - United States

Today, it was my birthday. We had a huge family dinner and everyone was invited, including my boyfriend. My family is kind of stuck-up, so I was very nervous about him meeting them. He got into an argument with my uncle over how "awesome" Van Halen is, and ignored me all night. FML

#18070147
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19456) - you deserved it (3428)

On 10/25/2011 at 3:10am - love - by SNBBFF - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML

#18015819
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28104) - you deserved it (8482)

On 10/18/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

#17989700
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22541) - you deserved it (3486)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm - kids - by myfamilyisodd (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I pulled into the gas station to fill up only to realize I had forgot my wallet. By the time I went home, got it, and came back, the price had gone up eleven cents. FML

#17969396
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31012) - you deserved it (4031)

On 10/12/2011 at 6:47pm - money - by WhoopteeDooDoo (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a girl wearing a Nirvana shirt. Since Nirvana has been my favorite band for a long time, I tried striking up a conversation with her. Turns out she doesn't even listen to them, and only bought the shirt because she "liked the smiley face." FML

#17902155
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24750) - you deserved it (4431)

On 10/04/2011 at 4:57am - misc - by storksleuth (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18840) - you deserved it (42238)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: