Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SouthernPride95

Offline (the 02/14/2015 at 4:05pm) | Search for a member

SouthernPride95

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4778
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About SouthernPride95 : I drive a big ole truck i l'm just a bible thumpin redneck if you don't like it tough i like to wave the rebel flag around and i like to fish i also like to watch Dale Jr race every sunday in NASCAR i also dip good ole Copenhagen the best dip in the world

SouthernPride95's page activity

Visits<b>jet223</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 1:14pm<b>ztbrockman</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 8:04pm<b>jacob35</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 7:14am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 1:30pm<b>twitchywaffles</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 8:25am<b>riahlum</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 12:37pm<b>WordBea</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 12:03am<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 7:40pm<b>backwoodsbabe95</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:19pm<b>wratty11</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 6:33am<b>Jay0501</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 8:13pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:55pm<b>_Willa_</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 3:51am<b>TrashSnail</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 6:13pm<b>augenblake</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 7:59am<b>ProgMetalMan</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 12:48am<b>fuckercakes</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:22am<b>jenamalone</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 2:58pm

Fucked!<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 2:37pm

SouthernPride95's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of SouthernPride95's badges

SouthernPride95's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8568) - you deserved it (36062)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37646) - you deserved it (3827)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML

#20162223
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8572) - you deserved it (32624)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:43pm - misc - by Z - Australia

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

#20159898
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20973) - you deserved it (1713)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:25am - health - by KtSue - United States

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28349) - you deserved it (2051)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

#20153727
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21930) - you deserved it (7234)

On 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm - animals - by Drafty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30512) - you deserved it (1991)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

#20131535
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33796) - you deserved it (2121)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

#20130407
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26134) - you deserved it (2854)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States

Today, after much reluctance due to fear of causing a huge debate, I finally posted something on Facebook about the presidential debates. However, the post sparked an argument with my mom's childhood best friend, that ended with her telling me that my dad isn't actually my dad. FML

#20120633
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29448) - you deserved it (3443)

On 10/17/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by bastardchild_01 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28144) - you deserved it (3444)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

#20117813
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36458) - you deserved it (2807)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:10am - intimacy - by scarred_sibling - United States

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
520 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80496) - you deserved it (9409)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25176) - you deserved it (4314)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25176) - you deserved it (4314)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: