About SouthernPride95 : I drive a big ole truck i like to play the tuba im in marching band i like to wave the rebel flag around and i like to fish i also like to watch Dale Jr race every sunday in NASCAR
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Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20697) - you deserved it (7341)
Today, a little girl walked up to me at Target and asked me what my name was. I smiled and told her my name was Kristen. She looked at the skirt I was wearing and said, "Kristen, can you wear pants tomorrow?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14827) - you deserved it (4262)
On 06/05/2012 at 7:56am - work - by whattdafuuukkkk (woman) - United States
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21691) - you deserved it (4681)
On 06/01/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by dating a manchild (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17672) - you deserved it (2028)
On 05/30/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)
Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18383) - you deserved it (1388)
On 05/23/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by alexo - United States
Today, after weeks of sorting, inspecting, and waiting, my high school's yearbooks were distributed. I'd searched carefully for photo errors and was proud to say there were none. That is, until someone told me that a boy on the last page was flipping the camera the bird. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11216) - you deserved it (2805)
On 05/18/2012 at 5:50pm - misc - by ooh cat - United States (California)
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15485) - you deserved it (4083)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States
Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on it all day. When I got up, my pants were damp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17274) - you deserved it (1598)
On 05/18/2012 at 7:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5255) - you deserved it (36116)
On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -
Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15387) - you deserved it (1292)
On 05/09/2012 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19980) - you deserved it (2119)
On 04/28/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by poo4brains - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9847) - you deserved it (18545)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14781) - you deserved it (1485)
On 02/16/2012 at 2:52am - animals - by JukeboxValkyrie (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were doll heads and cigarette butts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22456) - you deserved it (1515)
On 01/24/2012 at 11:51pm - misc - by JellitonOctopus - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25695) - you deserved it (3780)
On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom
Friday 24 May 2013
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