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SouthernPride95

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SouthernPride95
  • Town/Country : Knoxville, Tennessee
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1473
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About SouthernPride95 : I drive a big ole truck i like to play the tuba im in marching band i like to wave the rebel flag around and i like to fish i also like to watch Dale Jr race every sunday in NASCAR i also dip good ole Copenhagen the best dip in the world

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SouthernPride95's favorite FMLs

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

#20017935
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12654) - you deserved it (15220)

On 08/13/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by brooke - United States

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35715) - you deserved it (7805)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10285) - you deserved it (37378)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML

#19920264
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18792) - you deserved it (1038)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by Deadcat101 - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

#19867387
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16460) - you deserved it (4525)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend told me I was almost perfect. And the only reason I'm not completely perfect is because I don't like Mountain Dew. FML

#19837078
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14273) - you deserved it (22591)

On 06/24/2012 at 1:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

#19818500
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19283) - you deserved it (2263)

On 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26813) - you deserved it (2701)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, while giving my fiancé a hand-job, my ring got stuck in his pubes. We had to awkwardly get to the kitchen to get scissors. FML

Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML

#19794074
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27733) - you deserved it (3752)

On 06/15/2012 at 8:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35084) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

#19788440
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45502) - you deserved it (3027)

On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

#19788440
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45502) - you deserved it (3027)

On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML

#19776443
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15650) - you deserved it (11763)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)



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