About SouthernPride95 : I drive a big ole truck i like to play the tuba im in marching band i like to wave the rebel flag around and i like to fish i also like to watch Dale Jr race every sunday in NASCAR
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Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13193) - you deserved it (8838)
On 12/02/2009 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13193) - you deserved it (8838)
On 12/02/2009 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23822) - you deserved it (3322)
On 11/11/2009 at 10:05pm - misc - by DangerZone (man) - United States (California)
Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11061) - you deserved it (4229)
On 10/22/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ItsFunnyNow (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11061) - you deserved it (4229)
On 10/22/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ItsFunnyNow (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30941) - you deserved it (4860)
On 10/21/2009 at 4:27am - misc - by sore (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47196) - you deserved it (23947)
On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, I was at a music festival when a group of idiots decided to push over a port-a-loo (portable toilet). I rushed over and tried to hold it up to save the person inside from a very messy and embarrasing scene. Not only did the door open, covering me in excrement, but there was no-one inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31165) - you deserved it (7726)
On 10/06/2009 at 11:56am - misc - by good-samaritan-fail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32164) - you deserved it (3032)
On 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53007) - you deserved it (2692)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33869) - you deserved it (2176)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)
Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister saying "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36694) - you deserved it (6556)
On 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26654) - you deserved it (1685)
On 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by UGH (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51073) - you deserved it (2550)
On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I was walking around Walmart feeling pretty good about myself as I received numerous looks from guys in passing. All of a sudden a man approached me to tell me that my dress was extremely see-through. And, since I was wearing a thong, he and everyone else could totally see my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7774) - you deserved it (6758)
On 07/31/2009 at 9:43am - misc - by EmBAREassed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 20 May 2013
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