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Up and coming moderator
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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, while I was getting ready to take a shower, I placed my phone on the counter next to the toilet. While I was washing my hair, someone called me. My phone was on vibrate, so I didn't hear it until it vibrated off the counter and into the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13922) - you deserved it (24284)
On 01/22/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by needanewphone - United States (Illinois)
Today, my father introduced me to his new girlfriend. She could have passed for my little sister, or even worse, my daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24830) - you deserved it (1619)
On 01/22/2012 at 4:26pm - love - by Laura (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23852) - you deserved it (3701)
On 01/04/2012 at 7:32am - intimacy - by thankzbabe (woman) - United States
Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24195) - you deserved it (4622)
On 12/16/2011 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, a Karate dojo opened under my apartment. It's like living in a Bruce Lee movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17830) - you deserved it (2025)
On 12/15/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by rattlingfloorboards (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27011) - you deserved it (2017)
On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20383) - you deserved it (5309)
On 12/06/2011 at 9:33am - health - by aceshot97 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob’s called. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20243) - you deserved it (2021)
On 12/06/2011 at 7:26am - work - by boobywaitress (woman) - Australia
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while placing her order. I work as a Drive-Thru cashier at McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25707) - you deserved it (3493)
On 12/03/2011 at 8:29pm - love - by drummahboi99 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the laundromat, when an attractive girl set up at the machine next to mine. She looked me up and down, then noticed the skid-marks on my underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7186) - you deserved it (26090)
On 12/02/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by gtfb1993 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19568) - you deserved it (2588)
On 12/02/2011 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19568) - you deserved it (2588)
On 12/02/2011 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I received a few new fish for my aquarium as presents for my birthday. It just so happened that these fish were carrying diseases that left me with a tank full of dead fish. Happy birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20711) - you deserved it (1744)
On 12/02/2011 at 1:36am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28854) - you deserved it (16266)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29301) - you deserved it (9905)
On 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm - love - by leigh2812 - Sent from mobile version
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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