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Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21259) - you deserved it (3746)
On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - misc - by uhhh what? - United States (Washington)
Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19187) - you deserved it (2296)
On 04/10/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by kayadd33 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15853) - you deserved it (2827)
On 04/10/2012 at 6:48am - animals - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17936) - you deserved it (1908)
On 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm - health - by emoflowers - United States (Texas)
Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16311) - you deserved it (3427)
On 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17153) - you deserved it (2562)
On 04/08/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by Jordan - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, during an Easter egg hunt, I found divorce papers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28373) - you deserved it (1691)
On 04/08/2012 at 5:16am - love - by claudio117 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5092) - you deserved it (33535)
On 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74320) - you deserved it (3037)
Today, I realized I'm too short to use the urinals at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21210) - you deserved it (1807)
On 04/06/2012 at 7:32am - work - by littleman (man) - United States
Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7291) - you deserved it (35237)
On 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by tatatest (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I realized my Internet addiction had gone too far when I tried to Google what was in my freezer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4617) - you deserved it (19644)
On 04/05/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28428) - you deserved it (2019)
On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9592) - you deserved it (14099)
On 04/04/2012 at 9:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15294) - you deserved it (1253)
On 04/04/2012 at 6:58am - misc - by Telemarket (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Monday 17 June 2013
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