Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SoultheWolf

Offline (yesterday at 9:17pm) | Search for a member

SoultheWolf

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 August 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5265
  • Number of comments : 659
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

SoultheWolf's page activity

Visits<b>yehyeh</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:44pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 12:13am<b>dingleberriet</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:39am<b>baseballbv</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:57pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 10:34am<b>jgibbs019</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 4:52pm<b>Lumen94</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 3:02am<b>jentlemen</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:15pm<b>diegoisawesome</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 12:05am<b>x_hero</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 10:23am<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 4:13pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 1:31am<b>bentyr</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 7:21pm<b>thisguy184</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 12:24am<b>DeadshotDaquiri</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 7:20am<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 11:36pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:24am<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 2:32am

SoultheWolf's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of SoultheWolf's badges

SoultheWolf's favorite FMLs

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56711) - you deserved it (5513)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

#20816805
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58875) - you deserved it (7476)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:08am - intimacy - by right (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML

#20813928
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29416) - you deserved it (42699)

On 07/31/2013 at 6:49pm - misc - by psychic parents, how do they work? :( (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53378) - you deserved it (8503)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my husband bought me a big box of tampons. He claims to know when my period is about to start before I do. Sadly, he's right. FML

#20812881
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47307) - you deserved it (7979)

On 07/31/2013 at 2:31am - love - by RayneWolf13 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

#20810087
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51261) - you deserved it (11675)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

#20807393
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40251) - you deserved it (27207)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML

#20806393
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44587) - you deserved it (7884)

On 07/27/2013 at 1:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about how I'm jealous of her best guy friend always hanging around her. She responded by saying, "Wait, I thought you knew I was dating him too?" FML

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56091) - you deserved it (9306)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64785) - you deserved it (6576)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML

#20804404
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57321) - you deserved it (4903)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:09am - intimacy - by amiezingme - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML

#20804013
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44561) - you deserved it (14713)

On 07/26/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by WhyThankYou (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

#20803758
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38155) - you deserved it (18215)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: