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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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SortaBlack

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SortaBlack
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 4623
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML

#4525349 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (30424) - you deserved it (4275)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm - work - by dumblond (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML

#4397951 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (26929) - you deserved it (10138)

On 08/09/2009 at 12:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML

#4381633 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (7158) - you deserved it (41490)

On 08/08/2009 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I covered for my friend at work because he said he was having car troubles and was going to be late. Two hours into the shift, I got a call from my roommate asking why my girlfriend had moved out. Turns out, I'd covered my friend's shift so he could help my girlfriend move out behind my back. FML

#4173235 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (35837) - you deserved it (1848)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a man held a door open for me while I fished my umbrella out of my very cluttered bag. As I was opening my umbrella, I turned to thank him for being such a gentleman. Instead, a tampon that had apparently wedged itself into the folds of my umbrella flew into his face. FML

#4001107 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (33542) - you deserved it (3868)

On 07/24/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by umbrella (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I got home and threw my phone onto my bed as usual. This time it bounced out the window. FML

#3663741 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (34450) - you deserved it (19556)

On 07/11/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by jadakorn (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while working at McDonald's a car full of obnoxious teens came through. They had made a $30 order, and handed me a tin of small change, claiming that on a McDonald's ad they saw that we, employees, liked counting change. I had to count out $30 in spare change during a rush period at work. FML

#3659409 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (41790) - you deserved it (3112)

On 07/11/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Meow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my visiting cousin was driving me to pick-up and pay for my wedding cake at the bakery. The cops pulled him over for speeding and as it turns out his license was expired. I ended up having to use my wedding cake money to bail him out of jail. FML

#3657185 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (30359) - you deserved it (1917)

On 07/11/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by mellbelle32 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found some Nesquick Chocolate Milk mix in my pantry which sounded good. While making a glass, I got angry because not all of the mix would disolve. Frustrated, I downed the drink. When I finished I looked in the glass and realized the mix that wouldn't disolve was actually tiny ants. FML

#3437609 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (33651) - you deserved it (10634)

On 07/02/2009 at 9:37pm - misc - by ChocoMilkManG (man) - United States

Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML

#3264690 (278)

I agree, your life sucks (55399) - you deserved it (1856)

On 06/27/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by OfCourse (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML

#3168193 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (54369) - you deserved it (1593)

On 06/24/2009 at 5:59am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when she woke up. I was the one who got the surprise when I saw her, in her backseat, having sex. FML

#3165290 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (60486) - you deserved it (2030)

On 06/24/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving in my car when out of the corner of my eye I notice a car pulling up next to me trying to get past me. I speed up, so as not to let the car pass me. It took me a while before I noticed I was racing against the shadow of my own car. FML

#2991676 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (5412) - you deserved it (50041)

On 06/18/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by nerd (woman) - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML

#2928893 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (29530) - you deserved it (2495)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by yourmom (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on a date with this guy and he was on his phone the whole night. When I got home I checked his facebook since he barely paid attention to me. His status was, "So-and-so is taking out the trash" from mobile posted an hour ago. I got home from my date 30 mins ago. FML

#2920786 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (28991) - you deserved it (2168)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by skreweduP (woman) - United States