I created this account solely to post after I was cheated on for the first time. Otherwise, though, my life is okay.
Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8934) - you totally deserved it (15951)
On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text saying: "I don't think we can see each other anymore, the nights were great, but I think I'm falling in love with Julie". I'm Julie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23439) - you totally deserved it (980)
On 11/13/2009 at 10:07pm - love - by JJ (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughed at something amusing in Dreamworld, but the laugh came out as a prolonged creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9764) - you totally deserved it (6840)
On 11/13/2009 at 10:53am - misc - by teepee - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)
Today, I was putting my contacts in when my daughter decided to jump on me from behind to scare me, causing me to poke myself in the eye. I'm now wearing an eye patch due to a scratched cornea while my daughter is singing some song titled "You are a pirate". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16781) - you totally deserved it (1241)
On 11/13/2009 at 5:06am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19617) - you totally deserved it (1055)
On 11/10/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was acting as Prince Charming for a 5 year old's birthday party. After my scene at the ball, the narrator asked the kids, "Was the Prince handsome?" and they all replied with a chorus of "Nooooo!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15646) - you totally deserved it (1705)
On 11/07/2009 at 5:12am - work - by prince-charming (man) - Kuwait
Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landed on my head from out of no where. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look we hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21816) - you totally deserved it (2920)
On 10/22/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by mvgirl - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, for my 2 year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink 5$ shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22985) - you totally deserved it (3973)
On 10/20/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by lame (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at a store and came across a Halloween candy isle. I got so excited that I began talking to the candy, in a fake British accent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4170) - you totally deserved it (24004)
On 10/18/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by mojozk (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend brought me to his place to meet his parents. When they saw me, they laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28166) - you totally deserved it (2060)
On 10/05/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by omfgmaya - Denmark (Vestsjalland)
Today, I noticed that my acne has gotten so bad, I can see it out of my peripheral vision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31966) - you totally deserved it (5488)
On 10/04/2009 at 11:41am - health - by ew (woman) - United States (New York)
Today while cleaning up I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29850) - you totally deserved it (1851) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, during an argument with my daughter she screamed "everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24081) - you totally deserved it (3403)
On 10/01/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by unloved (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I had to listen to my mum and grandma planning a funeral for my grandpa. Who isn't dead yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23276) - you totally deserved it (1097)
On 09/25/2009 at 4:13am - misc - by GirlFromAus - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23055) - you totally deserved it (1611)
On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
