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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19555) - you deserved it (1614)
On 08/01/2012 at 3:59am - misc - by SLAB_GIRL15 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my sister and I were watching the Olympics. Michael Phelps was on the screen, and I was thinking how hot he is. My sister commented on how he looks so much like our brother. I can never look at either of them the same way ever again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16798) - you deserved it (2546)
On 08/01/2012 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15933) - you deserved it (1936)
On 08/01/2012 at 1:44am - misc - by Emily (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14648) - you deserved it (1601)
On 07/31/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by joleezad5 - United States (Missouri)
Today, I received my best compliment of the year so far when an ER doctor commented positively on the clarity of my urine sample. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12998) - you deserved it (1301)
On 07/30/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27308) - you deserved it (3666)
On 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by guy - United States (Ohio)
Today, my son got to my great grandfather's old stopwatch, which had been valued at a very high sum, and broke it by twisting the hands in reverse. He says he was trying to time travel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14882) - you deserved it (2074)
On 07/29/2012 at 2:49pm - kids - by oink oink fuck off - United Kingdom (Doncaster)
Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19668) - you deserved it (3462)
On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19567) - you deserved it (1522)
On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4683) - you deserved it (45938)
On 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18449) - you deserved it (11916)
On 07/23/2012 at 3:35am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't want to go out with him because I was having a fat day. After ten minutes of fighting, he threw a ring box on the floor and stormed out. I basically refused his proposal because of my body issues. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6623) - you deserved it (44616)
On 07/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by henley -
Today, after feeling a little down about myself and looking for comfort from my boyfriend, he told me that my stretch marks make me look like a tiger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15945) - you deserved it (2207)
On 07/21/2012 at 11:08am - love - by marquez_jasmine - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24585) - you deserved it (1687)
On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15680) - you deserved it (6439)
On 07/17/2012 at 12:20pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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