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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21474) - you deserved it (213784)
On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65877) - you deserved it (162983)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65877) - you deserved it (162983)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at an elementary school a girl showed me her grandma's obituary in the paper and started crying. To stop her from crying I made things out of the rest of the paper, later she asked me where her grandma's obituary was. I accidentally made it into a hat, with lots of tape. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7144) - you deserved it (34959)
On 06/01/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by thechad_144 - United States (Washington)
Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13500) - you deserved it (164104)
On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13500) - you deserved it (164104)
On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22592) - you deserved it (187152)
On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24548) - you deserved it (106470)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18246) - you deserved it (105476)
On 05/12/2009 at 6:05pm - health - by Loser (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (342992) - you deserved it (40799)
On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9533) - you deserved it (167464)
On 05/09/2009 at 12:43am - work - by pizzagurl (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46155) - you deserved it (9467)
On 05/08/2009 at 5:07pm - misc - by gangstalicious - United States (North Carolina)
Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML
I agree, your life sucks (51830) - you deserved it (18220)
On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (198032) - you deserved it (38513)
On 05/05/2009 at 11:37am - animals - by Rhyno - United States (New York)
Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (198032) - you deserved it (38513)
On 05/05/2009 at 11:37am - animals - by Rhyno - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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