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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today, I learned that "Je suis excité" does not mean "I'm excited" in French. It means "I'm sexually excited"... more or less. I've been doing a lot of exciting things and using it a lot the past two weeks. With my French friends, people I meet, and especially with my host family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26175) - you deserved it (9962)
On 09/21/2009 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4818) - you deserved it (40843)
On 09/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by FlipYoC (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend got pulled over and arrested for driving with a suspended license. Instead of getting my car impounded, his friend thought he'd do me a favor and drive it back to me. He doesn't know how to drive stick and blew my engine. My boyfriend is in jail and I no longer have a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30728) - you deserved it (5163)
On 09/16/2009 at 2:12am - love - by takingthebus (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be hot to get it on in the gym storage room at school. Apparently so did my Chemistry and Drama teachers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19001) - you deserved it (5513)
On 09/08/2009 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by TRAMATIZED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, it was raining. I was out walking with my girlfriend, and decided it would be cute if we did a bit of dancing in the rain. As I was swinging her around, I swung her head against a lamp post. She broke up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33020) - you deserved it (14638)
On 09/08/2009 at 6:46am - love - by Charlie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (46740) - you deserved it (2601)
On 09/04/2009 at 12:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to see my favorite band in concert. When the show was over I got the chance to meet them. When I met the guitarist and told him my name, he recognized me. To my disappointment it was as the facebook creeper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7362) - you deserved it (33877)
On 09/03/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by creeper - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my husband decided to drain his motorcycle oil into an empty bottle of laundry detergent. Also today, I decided to lift a stain out of my white comforter with some detergent I found in the garage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23571) - you deserved it (7799)
On 08/22/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50253) - you deserved it (7739)
On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was at a party with my girlfriend and this older guy came in and started talking to me about his rock climbing lessons earlier that week. I told him "I'm really drunk, so I really couldn't give a shit about what you did." It was my girlfriend's father picking her up to go home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7057) - you deserved it (51631)
On 08/13/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by drunkard (man) - Germany (Bayern)
Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36505) - you deserved it (8819)
On 08/12/2009 at 1:02pm - kids - by guard35 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to Knott's Berry Farm with my girlfriend. After we got off of Supreme Scream, the ride attendant asked her, "How was it?" She pointed to me and said, "It's like sex with this man, my boyfriend; intense, then disappointing because it only lasts like 30 seconds." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43955) - you deserved it (8461)
On 08/08/2009 at 9:41pm - intimacy - by blank13 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78465) - you deserved it (18449)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24480) - you deserved it (65191)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I took my best friend out for a night in town, after he got dumped by his girlfriend recently. As we were walking around, we passed a group of hot women, a couple who were checking him out. Trying to be encouraging, I said "He's single!" and winked. One of the girls was his ex-girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32146) - you deserved it (7358)
On 08/04/2009 at 12:15pm - love - by badbestfriend (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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