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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today, I was unloading things into a hotel. As I went to get a bag out in the hallway, the room door closed and I had no key. When I knocked and asked my family to let me back in, no one answered. The doors are clearly not soundproof. I could hear them debating whether or not to let me back in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18925) - you deserved it (2766)
On 12/25/2009 at 8:50pm - misc - by RoxahTheGreat (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was approached by a policeman who asked me if I was the owner of the green Camry. Turns out my parents decided to teach me a lesson for lying where I had been by reporting the car stolen. They also wouldn't answer my one phone call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18067) - you deserved it (5683)
On 12/19/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I walked into my room in only a towel. I walked in front of my brother to get to my computer. He said, "My webcam is on." I replied smartly by screaming, hugging the towel tightly to me, turning, and running straight into the glass door, dropping the towel. His friends saw and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16597) - you deserved it (11221)
On 12/19/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by GlassPwn (woman) - United States
Today, I checked into my flight early. The kiosk asked me if I wanted an earlier flight for $50. Awesome. I swiped my card then continued to the next screen where I was informed my new flight was delayed to the same time as my original flight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27458) - you deserved it (4717)
On 12/14/2009 at 1:08pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36968) - you deserved it (18269)
On 12/09/2009 at 8:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, a McDonald's employee had to correct my math after counting out $2.37 in change. I'm in AP Calculus and am currently learning how to find the derivative of an inverse of a logarithm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5703) - you deserved it (28512)
On 11/20/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Links (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, a McDonald's employee had to correct my math after counting out $2.37 in change. I'm in AP Calculus and am currently learning how to find the derivative of an inverse of a logarithm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5703) - you deserved it (28512)
On 11/20/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Links (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35590) - you deserved it (1457)
On 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm - misc - by usmcgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11142) - you deserved it (4233)
On 10/22/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ItsFunnyNow (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, for my 2 year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29048) - you deserved it (5136)
On 10/20/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by lame (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I noticed a dent in the passenger door of my car. At first I blamed it on the door of another car. Then I remembered that my last passenger hadn't shut the door all the way, and I insisted on "showing him how it's done" by hip-checking the door shut. The dent perfectly fits my butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3819) - you deserved it (27485)
On 10/15/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by onei8785 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my friend and I drove three hours to attend a U2 concert. We had been psyched about the tickets for weeks because they were awesome seats (my early Christmas present). After a long drive, we get to the venue and I realize in horror that I left tickets at home, on my desk, three hours away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12557) - you deserved it (40735)
On 10/10/2009 at 3:22pm - misc - by sostupid - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was just about to do an important presentation in front of my boss and co-workers. When, without warning I tripped in front of everyone and knocked a VERY expensive computer off the table. How do I know it was so expensive? I'm paying for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23146) - you deserved it (3314)
On 10/05/2009 at 7:25pm - work - by ProneToBlondeMoments (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as "My other girlfriend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33735) - you deserved it (2733)
On 09/28/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, my navy boyfriend, who's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After searching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33238) - you deserved it (2398)
On 09/23/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by Spatch (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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