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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today, a drunk man wearing a sandwich-board proclaiming that, "The end is nigh" threw some so-called holy water at me while bellowing, "It's what Jesus would've wanted" and that I should "repent for being an evil shite." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10699) - you deserved it (1138)
On 05/24/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by Notasinner (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14393) - you deserved it (1452)
On 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm - animals - by XxEmoWolfiexX (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, after my old downstairs neighbor, who would come upstairs to bang on my door and yell at me every time she heard a sound from me at all times of the day, had finally moved out, it became clear that my new downstairs neighbor gets drunk and yells at the TV in the early hours of the morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11070) - you deserved it (1105)
On 05/24/2012 at 8:59am - misc - by howsthisforaname (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)
Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15392) - you deserved it (1550)
On 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by fuq (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13524) - you deserved it (2758)
On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, it's been three weeks since I started using a hair-growth shampoo in the hopes of combating my balding. All it's done so far is make the hair I do have monstrously bushy, both upstairs and down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12626) - you deserved it (2772)
On 05/21/2012 at 6:47pm - health - by bear - Norway (Nordland)
Today, I watched a movie with my little sister. I couldn't understand a word that was said during one scene, but I figured it was in some kind of made-up language. When I commented on it later, she called me a moron and said it was Spanish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3401) - you deserved it (20244)
On 05/21/2012 at 2:42pm - kids - by sickdisney (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went into Whole Foods asking if they carried a supplement called Carnosine. The girl assisting me had no idea what it was, but asked, "Is this for weight loss?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14481) - you deserved it (2799)
On 05/21/2012 at 8:10am - health - by medosin (woman) - Austria
Today, I went to the orthodontist's to get my braces tightened, and I chose baby blue bands. Turns out they make my teeth look extremely yellow. Only a month and a half to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13418) - you deserved it (2940)
On 05/21/2012 at 7:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, while volunteering at a local homeless shelter, I asked the woman next to me how long she'd been homeless. She works there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13730) - you deserved it (6703)
On 05/21/2012 at 1:28am - work - by HomelessGirl1 - United States (Nevada)
Today, my boyfriend and I went mini golfing with his family. We had a competition going on, and when I managed to get two consecutive holes in one, he started seething and muttered that I'm dangerously close to becoming single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17447) - you deserved it (1888)
On 05/20/2012 at 2:20pm - misc - by Jacquelinez (woman) - United States
Today, I was walking up some stairs, and I told the guy in front of me to be careful, as the handrail was loose and well-worn. I then put my hand on it, and promptly fell backwards down the stairs with a piece of handrail still in my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11784) - you deserved it (3882)
On 05/20/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by taob (woman) - China (Guangxi)
Today, before I went into surgery, the patient next to me just finished the same procedure I was going to get. As he woke up in the recovery area 10 feet away, I was getting my final prep before the operation. On my way into the operating room I was comforted by his screams of agonizing pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18087) - you deserved it (1172)
On 05/19/2012 at 6:02am - health - by lubey - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15339) - you deserved it (2770)
On 05/19/2012 at 4:03am - work - by themcdave - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15339) - you deserved it (2770)
On 05/19/2012 at 4:03am - work - by themcdave - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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