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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today, my mom wanted to send me a picture of me at graduation, saying that I looked pretty in it. It was a picture of a different girl; definitely not me. Way to go, mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18427) - you deserved it (1008)
On 07/08/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20706) - you deserved it (2359)
On 07/08/2012 at 8:42am - love - by confusedbutloved (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16781) - you deserved it (4589)
On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20738) - you deserved it (1123) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I sneezed my jaw out of socket. Yes, this is possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22699) - you deserved it (1280)
On 07/06/2012 at 11:03am - misc - by hotpatata - United States
Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8437) - you deserved it (22947)
On 07/03/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Jenna (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20681) - you deserved it (1408)
On 07/03/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by spiderfail - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42125) - you deserved it (1594)
Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15929) - you deserved it (4473)
On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10613) - you deserved it (18373)
On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14833) - you deserved it (2381)
On 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm - misc - by zombieguyswife (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4292) - you deserved it (57509)
On 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm - kids - by MeanMother - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18704) - you deserved it (2219)
On 06/28/2012 at 2:11pm - love - by daniella101 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14389) - you deserved it (4413)
On 06/28/2012 at 1:20am - animals - by lala8940 - United States
Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7329) - you deserved it (25630)
On 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm - kids - by apparantlyStupid - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 17 June 2013
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