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SnowWitney's favorite FMLs
by anonymous / 12/22/2012 at 7:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML
by divingconfidence / 12/22/2012 at 6:21am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend was complaining to me about her problems. I tried to be a good, understanding friend, listening and giving advice. When it was my turn to vent, she interrupted me, saying, "Sorry, but I don't really care." FML
by sushichick / 12/12/2012 at 7:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML
by woodless / 12/09/2012 at 10:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by LovedByFamily / 10/08/2012 at 11:08am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous
by annoyed / 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boss got angry at me because my English is better than his. He accused me of trying to steal his management position, and implied that I'll be lucky if I still have a job by the end of the month. FML
by zoosmell pooplord / 09/02/2012 at 3:41pm / Norway (Buskerud) / Work
by rotezora / 09/02/2012 at 8:44am / Switzerland (Basel-Stadt) / Love
by anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 6:31pm / United States / Love
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML
by lonelyharts86 / 06/13/2012 at 10:50am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by brokeass / 06/13/2012 at 8:29am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML
by eww / 06/13/2012 at 2:13am / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous
by gonavybeatarmy / 05/31/2012 at 1:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…