SnowWitney

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Offline (the 11/02/2015 at 1:13am)

SnowWitney

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 6060
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About SnowWitney : This 8=====> hasn't filled in the description.

SnowWitney's page activity

Visits<b>thinlinetele</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 11:06pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 9:27pm<b>J_E_WBear_77</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 6:59pm<b>gurr57</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 3:31pm<b>Sun_Kissed18</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 6:23pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 12:10pm<b>JDC1992</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 11:39am<b>jonnied23</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 7:56am<b>jjmiller1001</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 5:54am<b>SauceySarah</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 1:43pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 10:45pm<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 3:10am<b>dav3800</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 11:12pm<b>Dimence</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 9:12pm<b>queen_awks</b> - the 09/25/2012 at 5:49pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/08/2012 at 1:23am<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 08/20/2012 at 8:49pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 07/20/2012 at 12:25pm

SnowWitney's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SnowWitney's badges

SnowWitney's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML

by Snufflopagus / 01/01/2014 at 8:26am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

by Lonesome / 01/01/2014 at 1:41am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML

by erjazo / 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my psycho girlfriend tried to blackmail me into giving her money, threatening to show everyone the nude pictures I recently sent her. Except the pictures on her phone that she threatened me with weren't even of me. Nice to know I'm also being cheated on. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 4:09pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

by the next james herriot / 09/10/2013 at 7:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I received a text saying, "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followed by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is for you". FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 12:24am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML

by pardon my English :$ / 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm / France / Work

Today, ten minutes into a blind date, my date said, "I don't mean to be rude, but... your face? It's the reason booze was invented." FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2013 at 4:57pm / Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Love

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I went to the grocery store with my husband, only to find that his ex-wife worked there. Then I found out he never actually divorced her. FML

by me:( / 07/16/2013 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy