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SnowWitney's FML badges
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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SnowWitney's favorite FMLs
by Snufflopagus / 01/01/2014 at 8:26am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Lonesome / 01/01/2014 at 1:41am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML
by erjazo / 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my psycho girlfriend tried to blackmail me into giving her money, threatening to show everyone the nude pictures I recently sent her. Except the pictures on her phone that she threatened me with weren't even of me. Nice to know I'm also being cheated on. FML
by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 4:09pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by the next james herriot / 09/10/2013 at 7:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I received a text saying, "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followed by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is for you". FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 12:24am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by kenbez123 / 08/14/2013 at 3:55am / Malta / Miscellaneous
by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML
by pardon my English :$ / 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm / France / Work
by Anonymous / 07/19/2013 at 4:57pm / Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by me:( / 07/16/2013 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To… Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway.… Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able…