About Snentasus : I eat, I breathe, and I shower naked.
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Snentasus's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML
by oww / 11/15/2009 at 2:38pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, my ex decided he wanted to start calling me "Pup." I jokingly said "Please! Call me anything but that! Sausage face even! Just anything but that!" Later, we went bowling with a large group of friends. He put my name in the board as "Sausage Face." Everyone agreed it will be my new name. FML
by firefliiez / 11/15/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
by swedishdude / 11/14/2009 at 8:37am / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
by snapped / 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
by Anonymous / 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (California) / Love
by neuroticallyours / 11/12/2009 at 2:11am / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I started the day at my local Starbucks. I was greeted with smiles from everyone I made eye contact with and left the store feeling really good about myself. I got home and checked myself out in the mirror, only to realize I had cut myself shaving and my neck was covered in dried blood. FML
by cpatch / 11/09/2009 at 6:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 11/06/2009 at 7:32pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I totalled my car. I flipped it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process. I was in extreme pain and unable to move. It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic. The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML
by Anonymous / 11/04/2009 at 12:18am / United States (Minnesota) / Health
Today, I came back home to meet people before going away to university, including my ex and her new boyfriend. We broke up about two months ago and there were no bad feelings between us, so I decided to have a chat with them. I asked "How long have you been going out?" He replied "Seven months." FML
by H4rd_Man / 11/01/2009 at 2:02pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Love
by Nomoretexting / 11/01/2009 at 12:35am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/29/2009 at 2:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied "They worked on you." FML
by TrainedBF / 09/12/2009 at 8:00am / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I tried to help a large, elderly nun who had slipped. She was stuck and wedged in on a concrete ramp. So I stood facing her, feet braced against hers, and pulled. Not only did I drop her, but I got a wicked view of her panties and crotch. I'm sure I'm going to hell. FML
by KarmaGirl / 09/11/2009 at 6:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Curt / 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm / United States (Missouri) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…