About Snentasus : I eat, I breathe, and I shower naked.
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Snentasus's favorite FMLs
Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML
by Dreamer / 07/03/2012 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I shaved my legs. I received endless compliments about how great they looked, and how jealous all the girls were. I'm a guy who shaved them for a themed party, for which I dressed up as a girl. FML
by eviltwigster / 06/26/2012 at 12:16pm / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2012 at 1:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Bad Mommy / 06/21/2012 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Kids
by vikhelios / 01/30/2010 at 1:45pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2010 at 8:16am / United States (California) / Money
by StinkyCactus / 01/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by mclovin09 / 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was texting my friend. He has a history of depression, which we were talking about, and somehow, he turned the conversation to: "If we ever broke up, I would kill myself." I didn't even know we were even going out. FML
by Anonymous / 12/13/2009 at 7:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by fartlover / 11/27/2009 at 12:10am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML
by eyesightfail / 11/21/2009 at 6:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML
by Araya / 11/17/2009 at 11:12am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML
by anonymous / 11/16/2009 at 1:00am / Japan (Okinawa) / Kids
- Today, my husband and I decided to get a little frisky in bed. After we were done we lay spent on… Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal".… Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to…