Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SneakyDeath

Search for a member

SneakyDeath
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4354
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

SneakyDeath's last visitors

PotterHead_DHKalipczo_Heisenberg__adragonhunterLife_is_FMLohno_emily

SneakyDeath's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

SneakyDeath's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was at work, I heard one of my employees laughing on the phone. I told him to shut up and get back to work. Turns out he was actually crying because his father had just died. FML

#12251529
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8813) - you deserved it (54698)

On 08/01/2010 at 8:34pm - work - by bloodymatzaball - United States

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

#12109391
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27895) - you deserved it (2347)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16357) - you deserved it (66348)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML

#12043060
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28740) - you deserved it (3519)

On 07/22/2010 at 11:10am - misc - by Elliot (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML

#12006480
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39883) - you deserved it (4007)

On 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by notmuchfun - United States (Michigan)

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

#11994829
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32453) - you deserved it (2823)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my best friend told me I lost weight. I was happy because I've worked hard to shed off those pounds. I asked her what changes were evident, she told me that I now have a neck. FML

#11953086
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23444) - you deserved it (8771)

On 07/18/2010 at 12:02am - health - by lalala (woman) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13372) - you deserved it (52185)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that my mom's laptop was originally my Christmas gift. She opened it and decided she liked it so much she should have it. I got hot rollers. FML

#11927382
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27725) - you deserved it (1682)

On 07/16/2010 at 7:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML

#11858705
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47696) - you deserved it (3990)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm - work - by Camille (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML

#11857753
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16847) - you deserved it (39025)

On 07/13/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by Criminal (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

#11804292
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30855) - you deserved it (2965)

On 07/11/2010 at 2:06am - health - by Cheyenne - United States (Washington)

Today, it's Saint Patrick's Day and the nicest day of the year so far. I'm spending it in the bathroom, puking up the sushi I'd eaten last night. The luck of the Irish can't help me on this one. FML

#9158152
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18526) - you deserved it (4405)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:15pm - health - by patrick - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a year dumped me. In my opinion, the relationship was going so well and I really thought we loved each other. When I asked why, he told me he never loved me. He just wanted to get in my pants which after a year of refusing, he finally did. FML

#9138993
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21844) - you deserved it (4763)

On 03/16/2010 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: