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The Thumb strikes back
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SneakyDeath's favorite FMLs
Today, the laziest person in my department came and complained to me, while I was working, that they didn't know why we were so far behind today. Then they went to chat to their friend for 45 minutes. I know why. FML
Today, I went on a date. Met the guy at the restaurant, everything seemed to be going OK, but then he spent the entire dinner talking about Pokemon GO, and wouldn't let me say a word. He suddenly stops talking, gets up, says he, "doesn't feel a connection" and leaves. I had to pay the bill. FML
by ZombiKilla / 08/15/2016 at 10:46pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
Today, I worked from 8 to 7 without a break and I'm still not done with my assignment. Meanwhile, my co-worker crafted a piece of paper looking like a watermelon slice and posted a picture of herself seemingly taking a bite out of it. FML
by Raptorcake / 08/15/2016 at 8:50am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Holidays
by LostInSunday / 08/15/2016 at 4:11am / Miscellaneous
by Screamingfirecracker / 08/15/2016 at 12:12am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Work
by 13a5ic H1p5t3r / 08/14/2016 at 11:58pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, as I was crossing a street, a car hit me and broke two of my ribs. The driver was too busy paying attention to his girlfriend who was giving him a blowjob from the passenger seat. I could see the look of ecstasy on his face as he rammed into me and drove off without noticing. FML
by Sean / 08/14/2016 at 12:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by pat3212 / 08/11/2016 at 6:56pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, it was my first day at my new job as a receptionist at a small doctor's office. When the doctor's wife called and asked if he'd stepped out, I forgot the word "Doctor" and instead replaced it with, "medicine man". FML
by professionalmedicineman / 08/11/2016 at 3:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I got yelled at in my office. It's construction, and I'm the youngest woman. One of my male bosses yelled at me because grown-ass adults won't sign in the log. Either I get my ass kicked by construction guys over a sign-in sheet, or yelled at by my boss. I can't win. FML
by xAdtrx3x / 08/11/2016 at 2:16pm / United States (New York) / Work
by b5b0n36 / 08/11/2016 at 12:47pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by SeriouslyEvery / 08/11/2016 at 12:12pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
by Chef stupid / 08/11/2016 at 11:32am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, two customers complained about the shitty service they received from my coworkers. I apologized and asked about the complaint. Their issues were legitimate and I promised to pass them on. They demanded to speak to my manager and my coworkers got in trouble. Now they think I'm a snitch. FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2016 at 8:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Work