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SneakyDeath's favorite FMLs
Today, my teacher called a friend and me out of class and told us we had been reported for plagiarism because our answers to a problem were nearly identical, and he said that I shouldn't have shared my work. This for an assignment where significant marks were awarded for collaborating with peers. FML
by R / 09/05/2016 at 6:27am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered that in the three days I left my 18-year-old son in charge, my dog had gotten pregnant. When I confronted my son about it, he stated, "I don't want the reputation of being a cock-blocker." FML
by anonymous / 09/04/2016 at 6:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
by chubrubber / 09/04/2016 at 2:57pm / United States (New York) / Health
by guh / 08/31/2016 at 11:54am / Malaysia (Selangor) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while I had a fever from a stomach virus. I was shivering with cold sweats while she explained there was nothing wrong with our relationship, but she would regret not giving her cheating ex a second chance. FML
by sick and lonely / 08/26/2016 at 11:19pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/24/2016 at 11:50pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/24/2016 at 8:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by crazycatlady / 08/24/2016 at 5:43am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, after two weeks of intense detective work, I found out my wife isn't cheating on me after all. She really has just been going out and playing table tennis with her friend like she said. Who the hell even plays table tennis? FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2016 at 8:40am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about it. My brother ended up saying "If god doesn't want me to jerk off, how come he made my knob the perfect shape to fit in my hand?" I burst out laughing and now we're both grounded. FML
Today, I gave my boss 2 weeks notice for me leaving work, as I had received a better job offer with twice the pay. I thought he took it well until I heard him mutter under his breath, "About fucking time." FML
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML
by sillymink / 08/19/2016 at 10:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by CyberPsycho / 08/19/2016 at 4:57pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, someone drove into my car at an intersection and drove off. Luckily, I got the car's registration plate and called the cops on them. Turns out, it was my boyfriend's brother's girlfriend, who was illegally driving without a license. Now everyone's mad at me for getting her in trouble. FML
by Innocent / 08/18/2016 at 7:03pm / New Zealand / Transportation