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SneakyDeath's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
SneakyDeath's favorite FMLs
by SeriouslyEvery / 08/11/2016 at 12:12pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
by Chef stupid / 08/11/2016 at 11:32am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, two customers complained about the shitty service they received from my coworkers. I apologized and asked about the complaint. Their issues were legitimate and I promised to pass them on. They demanded to speak to my manager and my coworkers got in trouble. Now they think I'm a snitch. FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2016 at 8:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, the VP of my company stopped by my desk to personally deliver praise on my recent performance. I watched in helpless horror as the noxious fart I had just released slapped him in the face. He was too polite to leave but gagged through his entire speech. If farts can kill careers... FML
by FartMyLife / 08/11/2016 at 7:34am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I woke up to my husband peeing on the floor. He managed to pee in two open clothes drawers and on the pants I was going to wear to work tomorrow. Before I left earlier he promised he wouldn't get smashed tonight. FML
by inappropes / 08/11/2016 at 1:33am / United States / Love
by Maddii1112 / 08/10/2016 at 3:28pm / United States / Love
Today, all of my friends bailed from the birthday party I was throwing myself. This was also after they had encouraged me for months to have one, knowing I'd never had my birthday celebrated before. FML
by Its My BDay I Can Cry If I Want To / 08/10/2016 at 12:51pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by idiocy Trumps reason / 08/10/2016 at 11:32am / United States (Kansas) / Work
by ScarletSpirit / 08/10/2016 at 6:10am / Intimacy
Today, I stood up at my desk and fell. I landed on the arm of my desk chair. There was a loud crack when the plastic in the chair broke. My co-workers heard. They didn't come to check on me because I didn't scream. FML
Today I went to my sleep therapist; I sleep 8 hours a night, but I'm still very tired during the day. I'm divorced, so we decided that I would record myself sleeping to see if I might be snoring. We listened to the tape. Not only was I snoring very loudly, I cry all night in my sleep. FM
by Sleeping moody / 08/08/2016 at 12:01am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Torvaltz / 08/07/2016 at 4:31am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by . / 08/05/2016 at 12:57pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…