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SneakyDeath

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SneakyDeath
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4349
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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SneakyDeath's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31542) - you deserved it (19667)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I threw a surprise birthday party for my 3 year old. There was music, snacks and lots of toys. My 3 year old is a cat. FML

#16231154
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10829) - you deserved it (34881)

On 05/17/2011 at 11:04pm - animals - by kaileigh10 -

Today, I drove the width of the country to tell the girl I've lost that I'm in love with her. She wasn't home. FML

#16230560
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36122) - you deserved it (11073)

On 05/17/2011 at 10:36pm - love - by unrequited (man) - United States

Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago my 4 year old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML

#16176534
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41680) - you deserved it (3766)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:35pm - love - by Clueless (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML

#16173128
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18150) - you deserved it (9733)

On 05/14/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by bloodyLIP - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

#16154478
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31061) - you deserved it (14021)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:20am - kids - by eenkoekje -

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

#16128268
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31665) - you deserved it (14223)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

#16125377
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38743) - you deserved it (4220)

On 05/11/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Sola -

Today, a kid with severe Down's came into my workplace, as he does every day. He's has an obsession with me, sitting at a table, staring and taking photos of me all day. His parents have no problem with this, because they think it's a miracle that he can focus so much attention on me for so long. FML

#15935397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29472) - you deserved it (4611)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by notimpressed (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

#15935332
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37506) - you deserved it (11791)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm - kids - by nomorexbox - United States (Georgia)

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42891) - you deserved it (4504)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, I was running a marathon. I stopped to massage my stiff legs, when an elderly spectator taunted, "Oohhh yeah, that's it! Massage those legs good, boy!" She looked about 70. FML

#15919634
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25652) - you deserved it (4259)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in front of an entire street of people. We've only been dating for a week. One of the women in the crowd then called me heartless and threw a hamburger at me when I turned him down. FML

#15917797
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47283) - you deserved it (8894)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:49am - love - by Jade (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30931) - you deserved it (6608)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97939) - you deserved it (6726)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved



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