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SneakyDeath's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
SneakyDeath's favorite FMLs
Today, it's been months since I graduated university. I still haven't managed to land a single interview. Meanwhile my brother recently woke up from a week long bender, realized he had no money for weed, went out, and 4 days later landed a well paid sales job 15 minutes from home. FML
by yamblam5 / 05/28/2016 at 11:32pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by jnp414 / 05/28/2016 at 9:11pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Animals
Today, my brother "borrowed" my car and keys without asking me. He came back 4 hours later, alone and pale faced. It took half an hour of questions, interrogation, and finally threats before he admitted that my car is sitting in a ditch a few miles away, probably totaled. FML
by Anonymous / 05/28/2016 at 7:05pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous
by Rescheduled / 05/28/2016 at 4:44am / United States (California) / Health
by Lexyy17 / 05/27/2016 at 10:43pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was okay, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML
by Anonymous / 05/27/2016 at 3:09pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, my dad mentioned how quickly I go through batteries. I've been single and celibate since I moved back home 11 months ago. He doesn't realize this and keeps asking about "missing" batteries. FML
by thundermoo / 05/27/2016 at 12:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by chazzywazzy654 / 05/27/2016 at 9:20am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Health
Today, I was playing basketball in the searing heat with my friends. I jokingly told my friend that I was gonna die if I stayed out there much longer. Two minutes later, I got the ball and made the shot that won. Too bad I didn't see it, since I collapsed right as I took the shot and blacked out. FML
by Anonymous / 05/27/2016 at 12:07am / United States (South Carolina) / Health
by Disappointed / 05/26/2016 at 4:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my co-workers decided in our meeting with my boss that everything is my fault. When asked for examples, they couldn't come up with any. Now they are mad at me, because I'm apparently good at my job. FML
by Anonymous / 05/26/2016 at 12:58pm / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Work
by FML / 05/26/2016 at 12:37pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Ew / 05/26/2016 at 9:02am / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my job as a teacher, I saw a student cut another student's hair, I stopped a group of students from eating glue, and I had to tell a student to put away the toy cars he was playing with. I teach high school math. FML
by Courtney / 05/26/2016 at 8:12am / United States / Work
Today, I had a guest at my house. I stood up to shake her hand and kiss her on both cheeks, which is common in my culture. When she was kissing my cheeks, I went the opposite way from her and I ended up kissing her on the lips instead. Her eyes went big and I ran away. FML
by lmaofuck / 05/25/2016 at 9:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous