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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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SneakyDeath

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SneakyDeath
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2120
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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SneakyDeath's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded, "Because you fired me yesterday". He didn't say anything, and hung up. FML

#16480266 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (27825) - you deserved it (1992)

On 06/03/2011 at 5:57am - work - by xmeatballx21 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was taken to my first session with my psychiatrist. The entirety of the facility, from the waiting room to the doc's office was decorated with dead butterflies in glass. I was there for my crippling mottephobia, the irrational fear of moths and butterflies. FML

#16478261 (237)

I agree, your life sucks (31581) - you deserved it (2882)

On 06/03/2011 at 1:16am - health - by JefferyT (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss's cat died. I'm expected to attend the service. FML

#16477855 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (23421) - you deserved it (2720)

On 06/03/2011 at 12:47am - work - by whymyliferose - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

#16474078 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (35305) - you deserved it (2208)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it's because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML

#16468673 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (30453) - you deserved it (3909)

On 06/02/2011 at 2:43pm - kids - by fuck (man) - United States

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288 (385)

I agree, your life sucks (53339) - you deserved it (2498)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that the school principal takes all the money from the school fund raisers to buy herself donuts. I'd donated over $100. FML

#16447988 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (29722) - you deserved it (3511)

On 06/01/2011 at 5:20am - money - by Golden~ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home from work to find my computer smashed into a hundred pieces. My dad threw it at my mom because they were having a fight and my computer was the closest thing to throw. He refuses to fix it. FML

#16434880 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (32562) - you deserved it (1812)

On 05/31/2011 at 12:44pm - money - by Taurus_ChicKa (woman) - United States (Kansas)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

#16432657 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (13088) - you deserved it (1688)

On 05/31/2011 at 8:44am - health - by mrsekko - United States

Today, the girl I love made me text my best friend how much she loved him. This because her phone died. I was at the movies with her on our date. FML

#16382228 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (29322) - you deserved it (4148)

On 05/28/2011 at 1:51am - love - by Fuckit - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was working at a retirement center, when an old woman came to me and asked if I would like her old clothes. I politely said, "I'm sorry, but I'm a guy." She then said, "You could have just said no, instead of rudely lying to me." FML

#16380790 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (27011) - you deserved it (2920)

On 05/28/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by Imaman - United States (Virginia)

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (29077) - you deserved it (4474)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML

#16284228 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (9889) - you deserved it (21075)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

#16271302 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (28785) - you deserved it (2619)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570 (278)

I agree, your life sucks (25484) - you deserved it (14404)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)