SmittyKick

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SmittyKick

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 17 January 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1135
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About SmittyKick : "Sometimes you gotta be upside down, to see the world right side up" - My Cocaine Dealer

SmittyKick's page activity

Visits<b>heroqucas</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 5:46am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 8:30pm<b>xer096</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 10:06am<b>codyflanders2008</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 8:54pm<b>SogekingPimpin</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 7:46pm<b>MiddleEastern</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 4:48pm<b>infamousburrito</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 3:11am<b>Erin2009</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:23am<b>johnlockshipper</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:54am<b>Tomaeux</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 9:20am<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 5:58am<b>ouchunlucky</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 7:55pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 2:53am<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 10:51pm<b>kadyzoo</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 5:09pm<b>XxKingQuacksxX</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:49pm<b>jcross01</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:07pm<b>keyurisawesome</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 12:54pm

SmittyKick's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SmittyKick's badges

SmittyKick's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

by feiedbutter / 12/07/2013 at 9:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

by thank god you'll only live once / 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML

by Quasimodo / 10/18/2013 at 8:40am / Norway (Hordaland) / Work

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

by OPhere / 04/15/2013 at 3:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

by cjw / 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm / United States / Kids

Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML

by sharky / 10/05/2012 at 4:25pm / United States / Health

Today, my landlord informed me that from now on, she'd prefer if I paid my rent in cash each month. Apparently, I "look sketchy" and she didn't "ever want to deal with the hassle of a bounced check." FML

by sketchball / 10/05/2012 at 10:56am / United States / Money

Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML

by desperate / 10/05/2012 at 5:47am / Malta / Work

Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2012 at 10:02pm / United States / Work

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

by imafunguy / 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm / United States / Love

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm / United States (Nebraska) / Health

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, someone stole the massive pumpkin I've been painstakingly growing all year. What did they do with it? They put it in the middle of a busy intersection. FML

Today, I got lost at Best Buy. Meanwhile, my mom freaked out, and they called out my name over the intercom. When I walked up to the desk and they saw I was 17, the employees burst out laughing. FML

by Anna / 10/02/2012 at 1:37pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous