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Smeelover27

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Smeelover27
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 926
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Smeelover27 : Are you a colonist because I'll do intolerable acts to you.

Are you 18th century California, because I'll search you for gold.

Just ask Thomas Payne! He knows dating me is common sense.

You know what's Constitutional? Tearing apart the articles of your clothing.

I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.

If towels could tell jokes, they'd probably have a dry sense of humor.

What do you call an illegally parked
frog?
Toad.

Don't have phone sex.
You'll get hearing aids.

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Smeelover27's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML

#17699087
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34879) - you deserved it (4280)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25271) - you deserved it (2568)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML

#17601670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17293) - you deserved it (34451)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18am - intimacy - by dev - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24090) - you deserved it (4192)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML

#17546019
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16862) - you deserved it (1459)

On 08/22/2011 at 7:04am - work - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29651) - you deserved it (4067)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48877) - you deserved it (9568)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend poops with "This is war" playing on his phone, and makes war sounds corresponding with his poop dropping. FML

#17226602
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26578) - you deserved it (3991)

On 07/23/2011 at 3:49am - love - by MaHalKiTa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML

#17207646
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24421) - you deserved it (13262)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27753) - you deserved it (2605)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27753) - you deserved it (2605)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34068) - you deserved it (4374)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML

#16659246
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12957) - you deserved it (34068)

On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42379) - you deserved it (5389)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML

#15486650
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7557) - you deserved it (49274)

On 03/25/2011 at 7:05pm - misc - by freshman - Canada (Ontario)



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