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Offline (the 04/13/2015 at 2:47am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5567
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Smeelover27 : Baby, you may as well call me Paul Revere, cause I'd like to give you a midnight ride.

No wonder they were called the Intolerable Acts! I wouldn't be able to handle it if there were a tax on your sugar.

I'm so glad that the Prohibition was repealed, because I'm drunk on you.

You know what's unconstitutional? The fact that you still have every Article of your clothing on.

This must be the 1900s because my train has some goods that I'd like to deliver down south.

Are you 19th century California? Cause I'll explore you all night long for gold.

Just ask Thomas Payne; dating me is Common Sense!

Smeelover27's page activity

Visits<b>lost7702</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 12:12pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 3:11pm<b>I_cant_think</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:15am<b>tsommer</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 5:37pm<b>igg125</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 3:28am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:17pm<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 3:23pm<b>swaggyswagswag</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 2:05am<b>mikeyj257</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:02pm<b>sometimessam</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 11:23pm<b>feven</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 3:26pm<b>sophieagnew50</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:03pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:04pm<b>jesse480</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:29pm<b>Blake77</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 5:44pm<b>swharley</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:00am<b>jerryj</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:16am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:07am

Smeelover27's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Smeelover27's favorite FMLs

Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

by ohai95 / 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking home from work, when a clearly homeless guy who smelled like Jimmy Hoffa's colon grabbed me, pinned me to a wall, and demanded that I hand over my "booty". I don't know whether or not I was mugged by Jack Sparrow, but either way, he's now over £100 richer. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Midlothian) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML

by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2012 at 4:27pm / United States / Work

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML

by huh / 06/02/2012 at 4:31pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Intimacy

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2012 at 6:24am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a job interview at a small family-owned business. After the interview, the owner's son took me into his office and told me I'm not getting the job and to get out, because apparently, the old man thinks I'm "possessed by a demon". FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2012 at 3:43pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

by jcdc / 05/20/2012 at 11:03am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

by sick and awkward / 05/20/2012 at 2:11am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

by ...... / 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm / United States / Health

Today, my 20-year-old son's external hard-drive stopped working. He's crying on my shoulder now, not because of the movies, porn, work, or music he probably lost, but because of the now irretrievable complete series of Digimon that he'd collected. FML

by OytoBeAfather / 05/15/2012 at 11:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous