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Smeelover27

Offline (the 10/19/2014 at 7:39pm) | Search for a member

Smeelover27

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1851
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Smeelover27 : Baby, you may as well call me Paul Revere, cause I'd like to give you a midnight ride.

No wonder they were called the Intolerable Acts! I wouldn't be able to handle it if there were a tax on your sugar.

I'm so glad that the Prohibition was repealed, because I'm drunk on you.

You know what's unconstitutional? The fact that you still have every Article of your clothing on.

This must be the 1900s because my train has some goods that I'd like to deliver down south.

Are you 19th century California? Cause I'll explore you all night long for gold.

Just ask Thomas Payne; dating me is Common Sense!

Smeelover27's page activity

Visits<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 3:23pm<b>swaggyswagswag</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 2:05am<b>mikeyj257</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:02pm<b>sometimessam</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 11:23pm<b>feven</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 3:26pm<b>sophieagnew50</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:03pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:04pm<b>jesse480</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:29pm<b>Blake77</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 5:44pm<b>swharley</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:00am<b>jerryj</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:16am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:07am<b>2i1337i2iscore</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 3:39pm<b>DavidX</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:16pm<b>black_day</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:57pm<b>rob02</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 9:04pm<b>NineeCat</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 2:11am<b>ajk8296</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 11:12pm

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Smeelover27's favorite FMLs

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML

#20748362
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41424) - you deserved it (2971)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I overheard my mother Skyping with her new "boyfriend" about the $1,000 she just sent him. She barely knew what internet dating was three weeks ago. FML

#20748170
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42771) - you deserved it (3205)

On 06/26/2013 at 10:08am - money - by weneedthatmoneytoliveon (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

#20744678
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54564) - you deserved it (4457)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79372) - you deserved it (7226)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML

#20738351
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45614) - you deserved it (8365)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:44am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68632) - you deserved it (12932)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55076) - you deserved it (64189)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

#20703677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55579) - you deserved it (5028)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55079) - you deserved it (4279)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45839) - you deserved it (3502)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML

#20654488
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45079) - you deserved it (4318)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by o___O" (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65743) - you deserved it (12634)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49478) - you deserved it (24478)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20497) - you deserved it (59924)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version



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