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Smeelover27

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Smeelover27

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1443
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Smeelover27 : Call me Paul Revere cause I'd like to give you a midnight ride.

No wonder they were called the Intolerable Acts! I wouldn't be able to handle it if there were a tax on your sugar.

I'm so glad that the Prohibition was repealed, because I'm drunk on you.

You know what's unconstitutional? The fact that you still have every Article of your clothing on.

This must be the 1900s because my train has some goods that I'd like to deliver down south.

Are you 19th century California? Cause I'll explore you all night long for gold.

Just ask Thomas Payne; dating me is Common Sense!

Smeelover27's page activity

Visits<b>swaggyswagswag</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 5:02pm<b>2i1337i2iscore</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 3:39pm<b>DavidX</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:16pm<b>black_day</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:57pm<b>rob02</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 9:04pm<b>NineeCat</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 2:11am<b>ajk8296</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 11:12pm<b>ltaper11</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 2:03am<b>flupsht</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 8:30pm<b>marulicko</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 3:29pm<b>jessicircle</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 11:05pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 12:55am<b>chargers2588</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 5:47pm<b>goawayy</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 4:35pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 11:25am<b>piedpiper303</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 9:31am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 10:16am<b>Mornai</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 2:28am

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Smeelover27's favorite FMLs

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

#20852599
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40471) - you deserved it (4190)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:05pm - kids - by thanks mom ¬_¬ (man) - United States (California)

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

#20841540
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57231) - you deserved it (6667)

On 08/17/2013 at 10:18am - love - by why - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54107) - you deserved it (6153)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59125) - you deserved it (5414)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47885) - you deserved it (23027)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53975) - you deserved it (18128)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

#20822001
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48388) - you deserved it (4894)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by Serum - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60254) - you deserved it (5930)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

#20810724
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56090) - you deserved it (8792)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by JustSomeGuy - United States (Texas)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56044) - you deserved it (9300)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

#20804580
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47652) - you deserved it (9203)

On 07/26/2013 at 12:25pm - health - by picklebug (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59276) - you deserved it (20930)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75839) - you deserved it (3692)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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