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Smeelover27

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Smeelover27
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 915
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Smeelover27 : Are you a colonist because I'll do intolerable acts to you.

Are you 18th century California, because I'll search you for gold.

Just ask Thomas Payne! He knows dating me is common sense.

You know what's Constitutional? Tearing apart the articles of your clothing.

I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.

If towels could tell jokes, they'd probably have a dry sense of humor.

What do you call an illegally parked
frog?
Toad.

Don't have phone sex.
You'll get hearing aids.

Smeelover27's last visitors

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Smeelover27's favorite FMLs

Today, my new boyfriend was at my flat for the first time. He picked up something in the bathroom and said 'What the hell's this?'. I told him what it was for, and he said 'You girls and your weird female products. Who needs all this stuff?'. It wasn't a female thing. It was shampoo. FML

#15311271
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29120) - you deserved it (3284)

On 03/14/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by cleangirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

#15218324
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32979) - you deserved it (8786)

On 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

#15056238
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32500) - you deserved it (7505)

On 02/20/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by killmenow (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

#15056238
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32500) - you deserved it (7505)

On 02/20/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by killmenow (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I spent three and a half hours creating a Wikipedia page for myself. Three minutes after publishing, it was deleted due to me being a "Non-notable person nobody's ever heard of." FML

#14939182
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7453) - you deserved it (45817)

On 02/11/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by shredded - United Kingdom (Richmond upon Thames)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture of his morning dump because it was heart-shaped. FML

#14608701
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29430) - you deserved it (5342) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
458 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66237) - you deserved it (3485)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving my family home, when my 7 year old son had to pee. Having long since passed any rest stops, I made him use a bottle. Once he was done, he grenaded the bottle out the window, hitting someone's windshield dead on. FML

#14186917
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8210) - you deserved it (22376)

On 12/13/2010 at 2:35am - misc - by wtfson -

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML

#13876997
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17733) - you deserved it (6954)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18857) - you deserved it (56871)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

#10667407
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40072) - you deserved it (10421)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

#10667407
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40072) - you deserved it (10421)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6342) - you deserved it (50115)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6342) - you deserved it (50115)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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