Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Smeelover27

Offline (yesterday at 7:39pm) | Search for a member

Smeelover27

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1839
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Smeelover27 : Baby, you may as well call me Paul Revere, cause I'd like to give you a midnight ride.

No wonder they were called the Intolerable Acts! I wouldn't be able to handle it if there were a tax on your sugar.

I'm so glad that the Prohibition was repealed, because I'm drunk on you.

You know what's unconstitutional? The fact that you still have every Article of your clothing on.

This must be the 1900s because my train has some goods that I'd like to deliver down south.

Are you 19th century California? Cause I'll explore you all night long for gold.

Just ask Thomas Payne; dating me is Common Sense!

Smeelover27's page activity

Visits<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 3:23pm<b>swaggyswagswag</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 2:05am<b>mikeyj257</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:02pm<b>sometimessam</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 11:23pm<b>feven</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 3:26pm<b>sophieagnew50</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:03pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:04pm<b>jesse480</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:29pm<b>Blake77</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 5:44pm<b>swharley</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:00am<b>jerryj</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:16am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:07am<b>2i1337i2iscore</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 3:39pm<b>DavidX</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:16pm<b>black_day</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:57pm<b>rob02</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 9:04pm<b>NineeCat</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 2:11am<b>ajk8296</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 11:12pm

Smeelover27's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Smeelover27's badges

Smeelover27's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33895) - you deserved it (11819)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to give a sexual harassment seminar to my department. Someone put in a complaint that my example made them feel uncomfortable. FML

#21072334
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38111) - you deserved it (3811)

On 02/26/2014 at 4:44pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

#21066497
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43710) - you deserved it (4686)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by begging for air - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41364) - you deserved it (4498)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40117) - you deserved it (7705)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

#21009159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49107) - you deserved it (25555)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39097) - you deserved it (21705)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44949) - you deserved it (5571)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31029) - you deserved it (14720)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML

#20971859
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40152) - you deserved it (4087)

On 11/26/2013 at 10:11pm - work - by tortured (man) - United States

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42611) - you deserved it (3862)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

#20946588
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37942) - you deserved it (3330)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by :/ (man) - United States (Michigan)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: