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Smeelover27

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Smeelover27

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1438
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Smeelover27 : Call me Paul Revere cause I'd like to give you a midnight ride.

No wonder they were called the Intolerable Acts! I wouldn't be able to handle it if there were a tax on your sugar.

I'm so glad that the Prohibition was repealed, because I'm drunk on you.

You know what's unconstitutional? The fact that you still have every Article of your clothing on.

This must be the 1900s because my train has some goods that I'd like to deliver down south.

Are you 19th century California? Cause I'll explore you all night long for gold.

Just ask Thomas Payne; dating me is Common Sense!

Smeelover27's page activity

Visits<b>swaggyswagswag</b> - yesterday at 5:02pm<b>2i1337i2iscore</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 3:39pm<b>DavidX</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:16pm<b>black_day</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:57pm<b>rob02</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 9:04pm<b>NineeCat</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 2:11am<b>ajk8296</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 11:12pm<b>ltaper11</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 2:03am<b>flupsht</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 8:30pm<b>marulicko</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 3:29pm<b>jessicircle</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 11:05pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 12:55am<b>chargers2588</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 5:47pm<b>goawayy</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 4:35pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 11:25am<b>piedpiper303</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 9:31am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 10:16am<b>Mornai</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 2:28am

Smeelover27's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Smeelover27's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38613) - you deserved it (21444)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44697) - you deserved it (5557)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30941) - you deserved it (14700)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML

#20971859
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40060) - you deserved it (4079)

On 11/26/2013 at 10:11pm - work - by tortured (man) - United States

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42546) - you deserved it (3854)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

#20946588
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37870) - you deserved it (3327)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by :/ (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20946325
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26211) - you deserved it (52558)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37149) - you deserved it (10566)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

#20908628
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48787) - you deserved it (6596)

On 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by -____- (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

#20905869
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44927) - you deserved it (4685)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:38am - intimacy - by EconM - United States

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48672) - you deserved it (6364)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54736) - you deserved it (27524)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

#20867471
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39018) - you deserved it (6627)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

#20867249
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32788) - you deserved it (10301)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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