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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19735) - you deserved it (2871)
On 02/17/2011 at 1:22am - health - by no more tp -
Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18188) - you deserved it (2801)
On 02/17/2011 at 12:58am - animals - by hannah (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39800) - you deserved it (5058)
On 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Lovenem (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31468) - you deserved it (3473)
On 02/16/2011 at 7:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food, I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14778) - you deserved it (2693)
On 02/15/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Goatbeard (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22846) - you deserved it (4001)
On 02/15/2011 at 5:21am - misc - by nakcba -
Today, I found out my mom is the nude model for an art class at my college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45008) - you deserved it (2046)
On 10/22/2009 at 8:30am - misc - by scarred - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out my mom is the nude model for an art class at my college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45008) - you deserved it (2046)
On 10/22/2009 at 8:30am - misc - by scarred - Sent from mobile version
Today, I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says "It's not mine." Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37645) - you deserved it (3545)
On 10/20/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Twinner (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44117) - you deserved it (14033)
On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (169149) - you deserved it (14502)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I worked up the courage to comment on my crush's picture. I wrote "Cool picture" on his facebook profile picture. Pleased with myself, I later logged on to see if he had replied. He had. Well, at least he took the time to reply- "Who the fuck are you?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (46772) - you deserved it (9867)
On 05/22/2009 at 3:27pm - love - by Invisible (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)
Today, my car died on a major road, a cop pulled over to help, he offered to jump me, while doing so because my battery was so dead he told me to put the gas on the floor, I did and my car roared to life, he then pulled me over five feet from where my car died to give me a ticket for a loud exhaust. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52492) - you deserved it (3603)
On 05/22/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by fmlcops (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at work at an office store. I was instructed to put together several tape-free cardboard boxes. I then realized that I can disassemble and reassemble a computer with my eyes closed and one hand behind my back, but I was outsmarted by a cardboard box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26974) - you deserved it (7016)
On 05/21/2009 at 9:18pm - work - by StellarSapience (man) - United States (California)
Today, I brought some cupcakes to my class for my birthday, like all the cool kids do. When it came time to sing happy birthday, the entire class said "happy birthday to" then forgot my name. Except my teacher. She said Steve. My name's Jeff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61713) - you deserved it (5523)
On 05/21/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by theman (man) - Sent from mobile version
Monday 17 June 2013
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