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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole. It was the most bonding experience we have ever had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14027) - you deserved it (1467)
On 05/02/2012 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15958) - you deserved it (6146)
On 04/28/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was waiting in line for what seemed like forever at the only open lane at the grocery store. The guy in front of me took his sweet time and had multiple cards rejected, before finally pulling out a $100 bill and demanding exact change. He was buying a carton of milk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15461) - you deserved it (1141)
On 04/14/2012 at 3:27pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I picked up my daughter from preschool. Her teacher handed me her nap blankets and mentioned there was an extra article of clothing I might want to take home. I looked in-between the blankets and saw a pair of my giant granny panties that had gotten mixed in with her stuff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14329) - you deserved it (3335)
On 04/13/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16217) - you deserved it (4123) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24435) - you deserved it (2759)
On 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Eet- (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25478) - you deserved it (6245)
On 09/20/2011 at 4:25am - intimacy - by Alexandra (woman) - Lebanon
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23106) - you deserved it (2809)
On 09/02/2011 at 12:31pm - love - by Harry Dare - United Kingdom (Walsall)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25984) - you deserved it (3916)
On 08/24/2011 at 7:34am - love - by fmlTGOD - United States
Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24156) - you deserved it (1786)
On 08/23/2011 at 3:14am - misc - by kykynevs - United States (Illinois)
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31912) - you deserved it (10208)
On 08/13/2011 at 12:06am - love - by sydneybourgeois - United States (Texas)
Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12536) - you deserved it (22880)
On 08/03/2011 at 10:33am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47499) - you deserved it (5422)
On 06/27/2011 at 4:56am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47499) - you deserved it (5422)
On 06/27/2011 at 4:56am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24177) - you deserved it (3505)
On 02/17/2011 at 1:50am - misc - by YeahItsmecoolhuh (woman) - United Arab Emirates
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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