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Slimma

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Slimma
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1898
  • Number of comments : 203
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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Slimma's FML badges

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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Slimma's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

#19784539
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25886) - you deserved it (6327)

On 06/13/2012 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by biggieT - Sri Lanka (Western)

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

#19769177
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24114) - you deserved it (4293)

On 06/11/2012 at 3:14am - animals - by ILoveAnimals (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I got a really bad sunburn. On my eyelids. Who knew blinking could be so painful? FML

#19758610
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20648) - you deserved it (3972)

On 06/09/2012 at 1:54am - misc - by donnap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

#19757535
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18709) - you deserved it (8326)

On 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML

#19756804
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21102) - you deserved it (1563)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:44pm - kids - by TimeForAHairCut - United States (Oregon)

Today, my uncle gave me a lecture on how I eat too much "unhealthy" junk food, and that it can be very harmful for me. All the while smoking a cigarette. FML

#19741419
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18090) - you deserved it (2903)

On 06/05/2012 at 10:59pm - health - by Singapore - United States (New York)

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

#19733599
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18848) - you deserved it (2074)

On 06/04/2012 at 4:37pm - kids - by obtuse_ballsack (man) - Croatia (Grad Zagreb)

Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML

#19722662
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22208) - you deserved it (2497)

On 06/02/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by must.not.itch. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML

#19700460
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22722) - you deserved it (2163)

On 05/29/2012 at 6:40pm - kids - by liquid_sasquatch - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

#19632849
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4453) - you deserved it (18470)

On 05/16/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38440) - you deserved it (3081)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML

#19582200
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23474) - you deserved it (4966)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:01pm - love - by Bridget (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15312) - you deserved it (27033)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

#19576314
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15531) - you deserved it (5639)

On 05/05/2012 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, the person I've been sharing my most intimate feelings with finally got bored and let me know I've been texting the wrong number for weeks. FML

#19573313
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21746) - you deserved it (4071)

On 05/04/2012 at 3:14pm - love - by john (man) - United Kingdom (Reading)



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