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Slimma

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Slimma
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 November 1983 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 767
  • Number of comments : 134
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Slimma : Controversy follows this account. Always does. Moderated tons of times... banned for no reason.

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Slimma's favorite FMLs

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

#17975450 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (22630) - you deserved it (2554)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Eet- (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML

#17786349 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (22086) - you deserved it (5550)

On 09/20/2011 at 4:25am - intimacy - by Alexandra (woman) - Lebanon

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

#17644028 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (21122) - you deserved it (2552)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:31pm - love - by Harry Dare - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML

#17566686 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (24455) - you deserved it (3713)

On 08/24/2011 at 7:34am - love - by fmlTGOD - United States

Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML

#17555349 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (22212) - you deserved it (1637)

On 08/23/2011 at 3:14am - misc - by kykynevs - United States (Illinois)

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

#17455521 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (29853) - you deserved it (9461)

On 08/13/2011 at 12:06am - love - by sydneybourgeois - United States (Texas)

Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML

#17354061 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (4421) - you deserved it (7660)

On 08/03/2011 at 10:33am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

#16877997 (416)

I agree, your life sucks (44684) - you deserved it (5087)

On 06/27/2011 at 4:56am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks (22595) - you deserved it (3296)

On 02/17/2011 at 1:50am - misc - by YeahItsmecoolhuh (woman) - United Arab Emirates

Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML

I agree, your life sucks (17834) - you deserved it (2604)

On 02/17/2011 at 1:22am - health - by no more tp -

Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks (16104) - you deserved it (2553)

On 02/17/2011 at 12:58am - animals - by hannah (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML

#15002281 (267)

I agree, your life sucks (37807) - you deserved it (4796)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Lovenem (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML

#15000318 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (29961) - you deserved it (3317)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food, I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML

I agree, your life sucks (13295) - you deserved it (2449)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Goatbeard (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML

I agree, your life sucks (20626) - you deserved it (3305)

On 02/15/2011 at 5:21am - misc - by nakcba -



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