About Sleepsong : Hi there! I guess you stubbled on my profile for you're own reason! Anywho, I'm a nice person, I LOVE music & singing, I like football(soccer),etc. I'm really interesting once you get to know me,i'm sort of weird but you'd get used to it. I come on FML to have a laugh and usually when the FML is crazy I look at the comments to have another laugh but I hate it when some of the FML's sound ungrateful or selfish & I also hate it when the commenters act like twats completely,anyways if you want to have a chat with me then message me.c:
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Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27875) - you deserved it (6229)
On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31848) - you deserved it (6275)
On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born and only took one of the two tests. I haven't cheated. He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checked again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27774) - you deserved it (2131)
On 02/10/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by Totallyscrewed - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24867) - you deserved it (2956)
On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26738) - you deserved it (7371)
On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14164) - you deserved it (33394)
On 02/09/2013 at 12:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Somerset)
Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24800) - you deserved it (3250)
On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)
Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56505) - you deserved it (2007)
On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45221) - you deserved it (2511)
On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29571) - you deserved it (7514)
On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37283) - you deserved it (3536)
On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29509) - you deserved it (2562)
On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States
Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21405) - you deserved it (10284)
On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24942) - you deserved it (2290)
On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)
Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (1880)
Monday 20 May 2013
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