About Skylerke : Im not sure what to say here! XD
50 favourites
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Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37208) - you deserved it (3178)
On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37208) - you deserved it (3178)
On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend didn't come home from a night of drinking with the boys again, so I told him that I was packing my things and I wouldn't be here when he came home. After all my things were packed, I realized he drove my car to the bar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31754) - you deserved it (7386)
On 08/19/2009 at 8:11am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at a clothing store. I tried on a dress, but decided it was too much for me. Taking it off, I realize my hair was tangled in the big security button. The employees had to bring me to the front of the store, lay me on the counter, and take the button out in front of a laughing crowd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32808) - you deserved it (2843)
On 08/12/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by ForeverEmbarrassed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I met a hot guy at a club and we really hit it off. We went back to his place and we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it and he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14766) - you deserved it (46484)
On 08/07/2009 at 1:09pm - love - by accidentalslut (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was handling corrosive chemicals when I accidentally spilled a beaker of Hydrochloric Acid on myself. I had to strip naked and use the emergency shower with my boss and my hot coworker watching. The worst part was when I realized my coworker was laughing at the size of my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44801) - you deserved it (4905)
On 08/03/2009 at 2:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend told my roommate about a trick he had used by filling nail holes with toothpaste when he moved out. When I came home with putty to fill the holes, there were blue spots all over the walls. She had filled them with blue gel toothpaste. Now I get to repaint, too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29631) - you deserved it (2552)
On 07/24/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I said to our pool-boy, "I know what you're doing, and you have to stop it." He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47715) - you deserved it (6274)
On 07/23/2009 at 7:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)
Today, my daughter asked me what the youngest age you should start having sex is, being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62671) - you deserved it (9117)
On 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm - intimacy - by blazer - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my husband of one week lost his wedding ring while we were preparing for a dinner party. After a thorough search and no luck, I started to cry. He told me to quit being a drama queen because we had guests. He then got drunk with his friends, puked on the patio, and called me a bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58508) - you deserved it (7990)
On 06/28/2009 at 12:05pm - love - by honeymoonisover (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my husband of one week lost his wedding ring while we were preparing for a dinner party. After a thorough search and no luck, I started to cry. He told me to quit being a drama queen because we had guests. He then got drunk with his friends, puked on the patio, and called me a bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58508) - you deserved it (7990)
On 06/28/2009 at 12:05pm - love - by honeymoonisover (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23034) - you deserved it (4624)
On 06/17/2009 at 10:12am - health - by Broken (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46827) - you deserved it (2267)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by dodgerkiss (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51914) - you deserved it (5296)
On 06/01/2009 at 10:06am - intimacy - by TeeJay (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41538) - you deserved it (8875)
On 05/31/2009 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 20 May 2013
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