About SkyBirdy : Sometimes, when i get bored, i cover myself with vaseline and pretend that i am a slug.
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Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20758) - you deserved it (2400)
On 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by whatswrongwithit?:( (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I started working my crappy, minimum-wage retail job at a local electronics store. An hour into my shift, my boss sent me to scrub out a discount bin, after some drunk cunt in his teens staggered into the place yelling, and puked his guts into it. What a life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12082) - you deserved it (222)
On 09/30/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by what the fuck, mate (man) - Australia
Today, I was on a date with a very intelligent and handsome guy. I was so nervous that when he was telling me about his twin sister, I asked him if they were identical twins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10194) - you deserved it (11639)
On 06/04/2012 at 8:45am - love - by boohoo (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I read an article on babies dying after being accidentally left in cars in the sun. On my lunch break, I decided to walk around the parking lot, checking to see that no kids were abandoned in cars. A guy gave me a smack for looking through his car window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6182) - you deserved it (27444)
On 05/21/2012 at 10:59am - misc - by whytoday -
Today, I read an article on babies dying after being accidentally left in cars in the sun. On my lunch break, I decided to walk around the parking lot, checking to see that no kids were abandoned in cars. A guy gave me a smack for looking through his car window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6182) - you deserved it (27444)
On 05/21/2012 at 10:59am - misc - by whytoday -
Today, I read an article on babies dying after being accidentally left in cars in the sun. On my lunch break, I decided to walk around the parking lot, checking to see that no kids were abandoned in cars. A guy gave me a smack for looking through his car window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6182) - you deserved it (27444)
On 05/21/2012 at 10:59am - misc - by whytoday -
Today, my fiancé emailed me some steamy pics. Too bad he forgot to erase "FWD:" from the subject line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16597) - you deserved it (1383)
On 05/18/2012 at 12:05pm - love - by ohyesIfeelspecial (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37011) - you deserved it (3015)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21035) - you deserved it (2342)
On 05/15/2012 at 4:56pm - love - by waste of effort (man) - United Kingdom
Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14886) - you deserved it (1912)
On 05/15/2012 at 3:27pm - health - by rhya4n (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I woke up after a long night of trying to catch a moth. I'd knocked down furniture and screamed up the house to do so, but I finally got it. What did I see first thing this morning? Another moth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6556) - you deserved it (15773)
On 05/14/2012 at 8:40am - misc - by foreverDark - United States (Illinois)
Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20778) - you deserved it (1712)
On 05/13/2012 at 11:14pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19502) - you deserved it (2295)
On 05/12/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by CalyenaL (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)
Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12727) - you deserved it (2951)
On 05/05/2012 at 11:19pm - misc - by BTM13 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8332) - you deserved it (26582)
On 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by mhm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Friday 24 May 2013
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