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Skittlesbaby's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States / Health
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 2:29am / United States (Oregon) / Health
Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML
by ukfan / 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm / United States / Animals
Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2010 at 9:12am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by notsoonenufdeparted / 10/02/2010 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Kids
by bitter cherry / 09/29/2010 at 5:29pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/28/2010 at 7:37am / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/27/2010 at 9:17am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML
by tracie / 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals
by huwauw / 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML
by tickyette / 09/14/2010 at 3:27am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 09/12/2010 at 10:04am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous
by gorillalove / 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…