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Skittlesbaby's FML badges
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Skittlesbaby's favorite FMLs
Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2010 at 12:42am / United States (Nevada) / Kids
by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, I went to my local pharmacy. Walking in, the security guard rudely asked me what I was going to buy. I brushed him off and walked in. I was paying and told the cashier what happened. She said "Sorry, we get a lot of hobos, they tend to steal." FML
Today, my wife was complaining she always has to put up the Christmas tree. So this year while she was out shopping, I decided to put it up. I set it too close to the fireplace and it caught fire. I'm a firefighter. FML
by 479firefighter / 12/10/2010 at 12:11am / Love
Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML
by Anonymous / 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm / United States / Health
Today, my husband ran at me, groaning like a zombie. I was so startled that I screamed, punched him, and started sobbing. Now he won't talk to me because this is 'the first step on the road of domestic violence'. FML
by katybaby / 12/09/2010 at 12:15pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by FreakinthePink / 12/06/2010 at 2:20am / Intimacy
by agentile / 12/01/2010 at 8:14pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
by tattooed / 11/30/2010 at 10:50am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
Today, I went in to work to check my new schedule for the week. I searched up and down and didn't see my name listed. After talking to my manager, he decided it would be easier to "release" me than remake a new schedule. FML
by Anonymous / 11/28/2010 at 6:49pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…