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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31245) - you deserved it (6273)
On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8405) - you deserved it (212690)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peak at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5584) - you deserved it (57378)
On 08/05/2009 at 9:37am - love - by TextLoser (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32858) - you deserved it (488504)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12697) - you deserved it (155283)
On 04/28/2009 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10696) - you deserved it (164937)
On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37636) - you deserved it (431027)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (414329) - you deserved it (248608)
On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13366) - you deserved it (176645)
On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16359) - you deserved it (165773)
On 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm - health - by sheyo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28748) - you deserved it (339127)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25786) - you deserved it (181178)
On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)
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