About SimplyLily : I never actually know what to say in these damn "About Me" boxes so i guess i'll leave it blank for now.
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SimplyLily's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 6:10am / United States (Colorado) / Health
by pdub523 / 01/27/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML
by milkshake / 01/22/2013 at 7:29pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML
by Female / 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML
by Anonymous / 01/22/2013 at 3:27am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Money
by Roxy19 / 01/22/2013 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Love
by normal / 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a very heartfelt conversation with my mother, I promised her that I'd quit smoking. I walked in on her smoking my cigarettes an hour later. Her excuse was that she didn't want my money to have gone to waste. FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2013 at 7:46pm / United Kingdom / Health
Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML
by methane overload / 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by bull-stuff / 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals
by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by life// / 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML
by HatedGrandson / 01/06/2013 at 7:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, due to a spate of burglaries, I updated the security on my house. Latches, locks, gates, I… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,…