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SimplyLily

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SimplyLily

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 November 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 136
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SimplyLily : I never actually know what to say in these damn "About Me" boxes so i guess i'll leave it blank for now.

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SimplyLily's favorite FMLs

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39356) - you deserved it (9405)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31636) - you deserved it (3293)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30206) - you deserved it (5232)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML

#20473605
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26561) - you deserved it (5511)

On 01/22/2013 at 7:29pm - work - by milkshake - United States (Texas)

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

#20473479
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36212) - you deserved it (2260)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML

#20472701
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30092) - you deserved it (11583)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML

#20472626
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8573) - you deserved it (32298)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:50am - love - by Roxy19 - United States (California)

Today, it's been two days since my upstairs neighbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments. I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella. FML

#20471583
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27839) - you deserved it (2260) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm - misc - by normal - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, after a very heartfelt conversation with my mother, I promised her that I'd quit smoking. I walked in on her smoking my cigarettes an hour later. Her excuse was that she didn't want my money to have gone to waste. FML

#20468389
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22406) - you deserved it (3229)

On 01/19/2013 at 7:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30218) - you deserved it (2590)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML

#20465397
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31727) - you deserved it (2099)

On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48531) - you deserved it (4682)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28227) - you deserved it (1785)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

#20448490
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24930) - you deserved it (4538)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML

#20445318
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21794) - you deserved it (1692)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:50pm - misc - by HatedGrandson - United States



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