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SimpleDreams

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SimpleDreams

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 513
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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SimpleDreams's page activity

Visits<b>FlapDragon</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 4:18am<b>lunaticalm</b> - the 07/08/2011 at 7:40am

SimpleDreams's FML badges

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

SimpleDreams's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

#20170920
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24881) - you deserved it (3001)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

#20170086
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14940) - you deserved it (31190)

On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22220) - you deserved it (2885)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a walk with a girl I really like. Trying to impress her, I mentioned I'd just learned how to do a front flip, and she told me to prove it. I did the flip, but stumbled forward on the landing and smacked head-first into a pole. She's still laughing. FML

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24033) - you deserved it (2792)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#20066250
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17017) - you deserved it (68001)

On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

#20054615
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27728) - you deserved it (4617)

On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

#20012782
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29744) - you deserved it (16387)

On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22574) - you deserved it (2894)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

#19999925
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29266) - you deserved it (2283)

On 08/03/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to live with her father because they have a faster internet connection. FML

#19875787
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26296) - you deserved it (5576)

On 07/01/2012 at 12:00pm - kids - by grrr1234 -

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

#19822088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27864) - you deserved it (4250)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

#19738484
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27402) - you deserved it (3068)

On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents think it's so hot outside that it's okay for them to work in the garden naked. FML

#19692459
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29173) - you deserved it (2120)

On 05/28/2012 at 6:15am - misc - by Ladieda (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML

#19607657
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24203) - you deserved it (3645)

On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)



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