Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Silver_Samurai

Search for a member

Silver_Samurai
  • Town/Country : Utrecht, The Netherlands
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12552
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Silver_Samurai's last visitors

Freeze

Silver_Samurai's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Silver_Samurai's badges

Silver_Samurai's favorite FMLs

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

#21092367
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39851) - you deserved it (3756)

On 03/21/2014 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML

#21042741
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37571) - you deserved it (13681)

On 01/28/2014 at 6:16am - misc - by ChickenBallsPlease (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I realized that my dog has more work experience than I do. He's a retired military working dog, and I have a Master's degree. FML

#21042693
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37678) - you deserved it (4592)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:22am - animals - by Pooper scooper - Guam

Today, I finally got proof of my theory when the dog came downstairs at 2 in the morning, looked me dead in the eye, pissed on the rug and took my socks before disappearing back upstairs. FML

#21013459
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33526) - you deserved it (3283)

On 01/01/2014 at 9:32pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42759) - you deserved it (9466)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML

#20984084
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57264) - you deserved it (3816)

On 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by mystery - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I had a dream that I was playing fetch with my dog. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to the sound of my phone smashing against the wall. FML

#20983492
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36205) - you deserved it (3955)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:58am - misc - by jessierules93 - United States (California)

Today, my trusty old car decided that it no longer needed its back passenger window-pane, and that in fact the window would look a lot better smashed to pieces by the roadside. FML

#20957404
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29445) - you deserved it (2557)

On 11/14/2013 at 10:17am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland

Today, I superglued the sole back into my shoe. Unfortunately, the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and my foot got superglued to my shoe. FML

#20956277
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37011) - you deserved it (10140)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by footstuck - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML

#20955466
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37032) - you deserved it (4261)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:57pm - love - by icyrebel25 - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister introduced our parents to her new boyfriend. He's my boyfriend, and he told me he was going to be out of state for a few weeks on business. FML

Today, my sister introduced our parents to her new boyfriend. He's my boyfriend, and he told me he was going to be out of state for a few weeks on business. FML

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39279) - you deserved it (3290)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49525) - you deserved it (5105)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35232) - you deserved it (2772)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: