Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SigneGT

Search for a member

SigneGT
  • Town/Country : Århus, Denmark
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 June 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 342
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

SigneGT's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of SigneGT's badges

SigneGT's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving a presentation at work, when I said, "But we could care less about that." My boss asked if I meant, "Couldn't care less." Wanting to avoid embarrassment, I tried to think up an excuse, only to end up blurting that it was my phone's auto-correct. FML

#18512301
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6060) - you deserved it (27579)

On 12/14/2011 at 4:21pm - work - by sharon (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8733) - you deserved it (67996)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34146) - you deserved it (3973)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29152) - you deserved it (5021) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML

#17880889
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8878) - you deserved it (30443)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35054) - you deserved it (6530)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML

#17566686
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29016) - you deserved it (4906)

On 08/24/2011 at 7:34am - love - by fmlTGOD - United States

Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML

#17447904
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32376) - you deserved it (2384)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:54am - intimacy - by James (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47042) - you deserved it (14876)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46382) - you deserved it (4382)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46382) - you deserved it (4382)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12517) - you deserved it (45856)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42545) - you deserved it (6477)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
693 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67724) - you deserved it (14662)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18625) - you deserved it (86483)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: