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Mobility
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Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8573) - you deserved it (16881)
On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the theatre with my 4-year-old son who was situated on my lap. Halfway through the movie, he turns to face me and states loudly, "Mommy, your legs are so furry!". Everyone watching the show turned and stared at us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17544) - you deserved it (6348)
On 12/14/2009 at 1:58am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (17379) - you deserved it (9374)
On 12/12/2009 at 8:29pm - kids - by ljjprchf (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6445) - you deserved it (32643)
On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I found a camera someone left at our house. I looked at the pictures, and saw my grandma in a sexy outfit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15579) - you deserved it (3866)
On 11/27/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15540) - you deserved it (3248)
On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - intimacy - by lonewolf2701 - United States
Today, as I was waking up, I let out a huge morning fart. When I open my eyes, I realized that I was crashing at a friends place with four other people. Yep, they all heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8056) - you deserved it (3207)
On 11/07/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by munnyfish (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25985) - you deserved it (2395)
On 10/26/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by laxie (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was having a nice moment with my granddaughter as she was being affectionate by stroking my face. We were both quite content, until she said, "Aw, Grandma, your skin feels just like a crocodile." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24257) - you deserved it (2282)
On 10/24/2009 at 5:14pm - kids - by Granny (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, my math teacher decided to use my acne as an example of symmetry in front of the whole class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44715) - you deserved it (2692)
On 10/21/2009 at 2:59am - health - by acneface (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13270) - you deserved it (3130)
On 10/10/2009 at 6:19am - intimacy - by Taraa3 (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40786) - you deserved it (2979)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17083) - you deserved it (3239)
On 09/30/2009 at 4:28am - intimacy - by homersgirl (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56413) - you deserved it (3657)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39648) - you deserved it (2940)
On 09/28/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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