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SiLvEr_070's favorite FMLs
by chris / 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I was at the theatre with my 4-year-old son who was situated on my lap. Halfway through the movie, he turns to face me and states loudly, "Mommy, your legs are so furry!". Everyone watching the show turned and stared at us. FML
by Anonymous / 12/14/2009 at 1:58am / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by ljjprchf / 12/12/2009 at 8:29pm / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/27/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by lonewolf2701 / 11/22/2009 at 4:15am / United States / Intimacy
by munnyfish / 11/07/2009 at 2:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML
by laxie / 10/26/2009 at 8:42pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I was having a nice moment with my granddaughter as she was being affectionate by stroking my face. We were both quite content, until she said, "Aw, Grandma, your skin feels just like a crocodile." FML
by Granny / 10/24/2009 at 5:14pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Kids
by acneface / 10/21/2009 at 2:59am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML
by Taraa3 / 10/10/2009 at 6:19am / United Kingdom (Hartlepool) / Intimacy
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML
by homersgirl / 09/30/2009 at 4:28am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy
by P0wned / 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm / France (Bretagne) / Love
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
by ohcrap / 09/28/2009 at 12:10am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had… Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I… Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone…