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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8553) - you deserved it (15698)
On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8264) - you deserved it (22895)
On 02/01/2010 at 9:34am - animals - by adad - Sent from mobile version
Today, my grandma told me to f*** off when I tried to help her with the dishes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20768) - you deserved it (4417)
On 01/17/2010 at 1:31am - love - by volleyballgirl12 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was dumped at the surprise party I threw for my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26365) - you deserved it (1790)
On 01/15/2010 at 3:49am - love - by TanjinaRubbaiyat (woman) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)
Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19684) - you deserved it (3455)
On 01/12/2010 at 9:57pm - misc - by pass_the_tp (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mother, seconds upon meeting me, gave me a hug, smiled at me, and said: "It's so nice to finally meet you! All I ever hear is 'Emma this', and 'Emma that', 'I love Emma!'. He never stops talking about you!" My name's not Emma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31786) - you deserved it (1435)
On 01/12/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27083) - you deserved it (3829)
On 01/11/2010 at 8:25am - love - by krisx3ftw (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25178) - you deserved it (1806)
On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States
Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22631) - you deserved it (2754)
On 01/08/2010 at 11:35am - work - by WesJaz (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15857) - you deserved it (2771)
On 01/07/2010 at 12:44pm - work - by Mic (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out that I have been declared dead by my credit card company in England because I haven't used it since I moved to Thailand last year. I will need three witnesses to convince them that I am actually alive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18701) - you deserved it (1391)
On 01/05/2010 at 7:02pm - money - by Arsinoe (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, it was the first time my boyfriend had seen me naked. He grabs my breasts and then begins to sing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." He is 22. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11543) - you deserved it (3662)
On 01/04/2010 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by ambermcnulty - Sent from mobile version
Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17886) - you deserved it (4070)
On 01/03/2010 at 6:59pm - misc - by jumpy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12690) - you deserved it (1338)
On 12/30/2009 at 5:36am - intimacy - by kte (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28170) - you deserved it (2663)
On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States
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