About SiHa00095 : Don't know, don't care
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (60520) - you deserved it (5774)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8460) - you deserved it (25731)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28599) - you deserved it (6417)
On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27896) - you deserved it (2695)
On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32095) - you deserved it (3183)
On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19597) - you deserved it (5171)
On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33521) - you deserved it (7835)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25778) - you deserved it (3246)
On 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27077) - you deserved it (2034)
On 02/20/2013 at 3:33pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Arizona)
Today, I heard a commercial for a great apartment complex. Includes food, snacks, entertainment, activities, cleaning service, and transportation services if you cannot drive yourself. I was really excited until the end when they repeated the name; too bad my perfect place is a senior center. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18649) - you deserved it (5849)
On 02/20/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by kryan012 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27238) - you deserved it (3271)
On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was making lunch, when my two-year-old ran up to me and handed me an empty bottle of baby powder. I soon realized I'd be spending the rest of my day cleaning the entire house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23663) - you deserved it (2716)
On 02/13/2013 at 4:01pm - kids - by mattrd (man) - United States
Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28163) - you deserved it (4933)
On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)
Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30945) - you deserved it (2545)
On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20472) - you deserved it (4602)
On 10/28/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Ceej - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
